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Re-Run ~ Dead-heading Pansies of Self,

29 Nov

I Culled Myself and Woke Up and Called Out

Death is the Mother of memory, the organic fertilizer that nourishes dreams, ideas, intuitions, imagination. 

What message do I have for myself from this experience?

Feel it. Hear it inside. GIve its resonance space to expand until it settles. Now, say it.

Keep it.

Pansies Are…

Dead-head your pansies in your garden, or pots, or urns, or wherever you have them. It’s a verdant gesture to keep them thriving and vibrant. There’s so much cool color when you do. So much cool color ALL the time. Dead-head the flowers as they start to wilt and drop them to the base of the plant. Death will then be the Master Gardener to nourish. Death, the mother of memory, will fertilize future flowers’ dreams. Dead-head, and that energy can go into the soil, and the energy that was going to that flower will strengthen the remaining full flowers and new growth.

patience, respect, renewal, resurrection, feeling unseen seeds cracking underground

Pansies Are Delicate, Though…

Pansies are delicate, though they are hardy. Pansies in the garden are no weaklings. Pansies are SO not pansies. Trauma works like pansies to a degree…

Perspective

So many times after an intense experiences passes, I feel there is a tendency to say, Phhuuuuueeewww. Glad that’s over. Run away! Like Monty Python. Run away! Run away! 

Is it. Is it over? Is the experience really over? Or, is The End really Just The Next Beginning? Or, is the over simply that we escaped with our life? Or, escaped to be emancipated with more life, more of ourself revealed, now more evidently present?

Maybe, instead of Glad that’s over, somewhere along the line I’ve learned to dwell IN the experience while it was still fresh just afterwards, and then not have to dwell on it as some nebulous unresolved why-dafuq-do-I-get-triggered-that-way by who knows what that reminds me subtly enough that I don’t groc it until too late, for years to come.

Feel into trauma and experience wise in time or just after. Own it. Listen to its message. Allow it to integrate itSelf on its own terms. Continue WITH it as a new asset. Feel your empathy tuned up a notch in so doing. Respect and resonate in powerful witness with the trauma messenger inside. Be grateful to the person who triggered you BEFORE you act out driven by the trauma and not the totality of what you were the moment before. Express, Thank you for digging just there. I need to breathe and feel into that. ANd, if they are a solid friend comfortable in their own skin, they’ll understand, maybe even silently stay with you for the short vigil while you acclimate to the trauma re-surfacing, powerfully and respectfully and grateful listen to it in all its ferocity and candor and quiet subtleties.

Once Your Trauma Has

Once your trauma has re-acclimated to you as well — its birth to peel off from you to protect you and bleed off overload in the system and become a disconnected Part and be buried deep inside may Be the last time it saw you — get re-acquainted, and do so allowing the Part to lead. Don’t poison it with any words or expectations or presumptive putting words in its mouth. Allow it to speak, and do so on its own time rather than yours. The 1st session with a Part may simply be an awareness of one another session. Each encounter is different. It may leave and come back to check in later. Minutes. Days. Years. Simply reserve a place At your table for it when it presents each time.

Amending The Soil

It feels like fingers in black earth while amending the soil in the garden. If, just for a moment, I honor myself enough to be silent and still, not frozen, not in shock, silent and still, when I feel into the intense experience after I have washed up on the shore on the other side after the storm I’ve experienced has broken, I can feel-discern with a fresh clarity of vision in a new perspective framed by the experience before it evaporates. And, it informs me. It gifts me the message of my experience while it’s still fresh, instead of disappearing inside to become a trigger where the trauma is always kept fresh.

“Reflections” (c) 2005 Jordan Hoggard

Still Near It, Fresh

Still near it, fresh and wet behind the ears from my birth from The experience, before it’s truly past trauma, still focused by it and immersed in it rather than by me, a bit still hanging toes in the unconscious semi-liminal, it or I may gift myself a message from the experience before I fully step back over the trauma prison of Inner Beyond to here. Psychologists have plenty of titles for this. That’s cool. Creativity is not a diagnosis or a malady or a disorder. The only titles that matter to me are Tarot Reader and Author, Astrology Reader and Author (by Blog), Artist, Poet, Writer, Alchemist, Architect, someone who is Alive. Bold. Courageous. Caring. Empathic without being mushy… unless of course we have our toes in the mud… to grow a Lotus from the mud in joyous and as-if-without-thought-or will sandbox garden.

Fearlessness

Fearlessness doesn’t apply here. I have plenty of fears. I simply don’t let anxiety kidnap them and torture and distort them into making me afraid. Guess that helps get off the mountain when those torrentially experiential storms come in rain-singing, Nature’ll kill ya. Keep breathing, and you’re still alive so you’re still a problem. Keep breathing. Nature’ll kill ya. Nature’ll kill ya. And, Nature will make you stronger when you relive yourself of the excess, when you deadhead the pansies in the Soul Garden so they keep thriving more and more strongly towards perennial naturalization each year.

I’d stay in that place as long as it took, not running for dear life to get as far away as possible, certainly not frozen, quite the contrary. Not fight or flight or freeze. Aware. Still. Focused. Patience is not docile or omissive. Patience is concentrated strength.

To In-dwell, To Enact

I in-dwell in the feelingsense home of the space, of the place, of my recent, intense experience. Sometimes 5 seconds. Sometimes an hour. Sometimes decades cycling around through its paces throughout my psyche. No deadline, no expectation. I simply make serendipitous stumbles in meditative momentS moving forward in a powerful and respectful witness of what just occurred. I don’t waste trouble.

  • Memory illuminating forward, inner light, perspective from experience, silent awareness
  • techne, making, putting together fully, giving form to the formless, Inner Guardian
  • magical mixing, integrated balance, vibrant duet
  • vision, genius, poetry, madness, reflection from unseen sources
  • new life, place-making, enthusiasm
Visual process of powerfully witnessing trauma to welcome it back home and integrate it

And, I do that until I’ve psychic-gold-panned past the experience’s rough geode exterior to see beyond the rawness in the moment to the refined, potent message. I see into to the colorfully kaleidoscopic, living crystal, juicy gemstone, geode interior. And, the message comes as my head begins nodding. Almost without fail. Almost without fail is an acceptable risk to me.

I’ve had historical friends for as long as I can remember. Sometimes they are spectators, sometimes assistants, sometimes colleagues, and sometimes I’m the spectator when I Engage in process towards the message with something like: What would my friend Fred do?; How would my friend Bill B handle this?; What does CG‘s ‘Red Book’ have to offer?

How Do You Keep It?

Who Are Your Historical Friends?

How Can They Help You Today?

How do I keep it? I keep it with an open palm up to the sky where it would nestle in my hand. No closing my hand and holding tight white knuckling to possess it. That suffocates things. Embrace it. Embrace the person or thing as a talisman, a talisman of THEMself on their terms. No need to digress into Psychological Projection or Projective Identity. Those two are the horseshit born of not owning your own stuff.

How do I embrace and meet up with inner, geode messages?

Open handed, reciprocal figure to ground touch, the Both/And touch of the Yin-Yang, the apogee master violin bow single-stroke bindus connecting inhale and exhale, forming breath as prayer. That’s how I embrace and meet up with these inner, geode messages.

Adversity doesn’t build character. It reveals it. ~ James Lane Allen

Be there. Be present. The present is perpetual.

Boundaries that create separation simply induce self-imposed anxiety. Boundaries that establish identity and distinctions can dance and immerse in one another without dissolution. I love swimming. I love swimming immersed with another and their uncut intensities even more. Fun stuff.

Then, if you‘re still alive, keep it.

And, saturation needn’t be drowning in the distress of a situation. Like a high performance, high speed, X-rated radial tire — rated for speeds over 134 mph, it’s on you to take responsibility for how far you take it above that… they’re not concerned about a court case at that level above 200 mph as that’s on you top make sure — you and your tires are filled up to 33 psi for stability, and maybe dropped to 32psi for added grip in the turns in the cold? Yes. Vrooom, shift n corner, baby! Shift n corner TOGETHER!

Message Gifts Kept

From your experiences, what gems of messages have you mined to keep?

They are yours, I respect that, and ask that you do as well. No need to comment them here. Please comment only IFF if and only if you care to and are full-on comfortable to share them. Otherwise, they are yours to tune your Soul’s liquid silence with the resonant chords of you and nurture the healthy boundaries of the Royal Castle Around You forming you as Presence As Architecture, or whatever you decide you do with… (Hey presumption, get the effa outa here and know when to shut dafuq up)

May I suggest that Your Presence Is Architecture, Presence As Architecture. Keep it. Upkeep it. Nourish its powerful limits and boundaries. Fly as high as your roots go deep. Swim as deep And infinitely as your dreams expand within.

How do you dead-head the pansies of trauma to nourish yourself by respectfully integrating them?

Experience

What Have You Mined, and Kept That You Use to Enact Your Priorities? Does Form Follow Priority? And/Or, Is The Form Simply the Consequence of Your Form-Giver?

I go with the form-giver. Beauty necessarily has some weirdness she’s, some flaws. Otherwise, it’s just pretty. Like quick fixes have shallow roots, pretty is temporary. Beauty endures, as beauty evolves to continually be itself.

You have no responsibility to be who you were even 5 minutes ago. ~ Alan Watts

Thanks for You, as only you can be, visiting here today in the perpetual present.

Holiday Super eStocking Sale Going On In The Shop!

Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

ImaginAction (c) 2008, 2011, 2012, 2020 Jordan Hoggard

 
4 Comments

Posted by on November 29, 2020 in Card Curiosities, Incarnations, The Mystery

 

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When There Is Only Darkness…

10 Nov
When There Is Only Darkness…
  • OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
  • Notice the rings to hang your idea solar system on.
  • Queen of Pentacles (c) 2010 Jordan Hoggard
  • (c) 2010 Jordan Hoggard
  • unfamiliar actions, strangely highlighted energies in feelings, awakening, regally emerging anew in playful ways
  • vision, genius, poetry, madness, inspiring light from unseen sources
  • emotional and intuitive harmony, discerning feelings clearly, hidden depths seen
  • magical mixing, integrated balance, vibrant duet
  • new life, place-making, enthusiasm
  • valiant feelings, confident expressions, incorporating emotion on the move

Reciprocality?

Do You Own Your Actions?

Open handed, reciprocal figure to ground touch, the Both/And touch of the Yin-Yang, the apogee master violin bow single-stroke bindus connecting inhale and exhale, forming breath as prayer.

Adversity doesn’t build character. It reveals it. ~ James Lane Allen (most likely ripped from Aristotle, though I haven’t located the conceptual reference. No matter. Nothing new, yet everything must be original. ~ T.S. Eliot)

Suffering isn’t always required for that if you’re allergic to boredom and challenge yourself. Sometimes, what does not kill us, doesn’t kill us because it loves us very much. And, when you powerfully witness to engage in the Empathic Silence of listening, you may forget your thoughts… the gift in hearing and experiencing another full-boat, full-bore straight out of the box of who they are. I feel one of the biggest tragedies in life is not settling in to nestle in the experience to evaporate the mirage of what or who you think someone is. One of the biggest beauties? Having a clear mind and heart so that every word and feeling between them from another ripples on the glass top lake of your infinite, inner well.

And Yes, adversity may be just like weather coming in, that has arrived. On the mountain. Above treeline. In late October of 1999. On a 14er. 14,263 feet above sea level, and Nature’ll kill ya in a single mis-step no matter your experience level. Being aware of experience, though, means we’re still alive, and that we’ve just had an another experience. And, that we can potentially be made stronger if we don’t react, and instead respond wise in time in the moment, and own it with NO mistakes, just OFLs, Opportunities For Learning… own it, and… can the reasons as they are unreasonable there. You. Are. Already. There. DO you live or die? Do you live or die trying. Do you live by dying trying to be reborn the next morning with your back propped up on the back wheel of an ambulance.

Keep it.

In total depth of darkness, first you’ll see a spark, then a crack, and from this crack will flow your unborn soul. ~ Altered States

Death is the mother of memory, nourishes the future in dreams.

  • looking up and out through the top of the obelisk from the inside, complete cycles, expansive, infinite, fractal-facets of all scales in one and one in all
  • balance, befitting, honest is-what-it-isness, Justice knows no loyalty

Yes, they water the garden to nourish value, to nurture what’s important. To build value. Though, do you continually Amend Your Inner Soil?

From your experiences, what geode gems of messages have you mined and cracked open by not wasting trouble to keep?

What was/is your takeaway message gift from them?…

That you OWN? That You Keep?

May I suggest that Your Presence Is Architecture, Presence As Architecture. Keep it. Upkeep it. Nourish its powerful limits and boundaries. Fly as high as your roots go deep. Swim as deep And infinitely as your dreams expand within. Can you resonate with…. . “Go YOU!”

Is guilt simply shame you allowed To digest? Cool. So what? That’s what ablution’s for, to get you back to you. And, shame? Can you slip that shit by side-stepping to literally slip it with wit and humor… with such things when you feel uncomfortable with something like, “:), your words not mine.” And, leave it that, not integrating another trauma to be resolved?

I don’t know about you, though that docket’s full already, and there’s no cutting in line.

If you stop to address every barking dog…. (Kinda thing) ~ Winston Churchill

What did I Keep That Day?

What I heard as I came to, came back to consciousness at 5:45a after getting myself off Mt Democrat and Leg leg blown Creature From The Black Lagoon dragging it and myself back to camp at the base at just after 3am. … Hearing my name, I collapsed.

What Did I Hear?

His heart rate has been locked at 51 bpm for the last 2 hours since he’s been here. I don’t know how he did that, though I gather it was to evaporate anxiety to get ‘er done. 51 bpm and 120 over 70 under full life-threatening stress. Oh, here he comes. ‘Hey Brown Eyes. Where Ya Been?’

~ Paramedic whose name would never stick. Thank you Paramedic-Person For keeping me alive by just staying there in front of me as I began to try to make my way back. Your presence gave me a beacon.

When There’s Only Darkness

When you think there is only darkness, close your two eyes to open the 3rd. When you think there is only darkness, look again. Maybe it’s you that are the light With no need of a mirror. That’s something you can share. It’s a gift to the world.

  • I give you a place of your own to clearly float fully supported in your mind activating your crown chakra. Chrysalis, fully afloat in supportive clarity.
    I give you a place of your own to clearly float fully supported in your mind activating your crown chakra. Chrysalis, fully afloat in supportive clarity.
  • Looking up from inside the obelisk, complete cycles, expansive, infinite
    Looking up from inside the obelisk, complete cycles, expansive, infinite
  • Yoniverse, fresh, nurturing, carrying to full term to bring to life, Great Mother
    Yoniverse, fresh, nurturing, carrying to full term to bring to life, Great Mother
  • Shadow Mastery (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard
    Shadow Mastery (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

What Did I Say to the Paramedic?

I heard that. Yes, you are right. I breathed my Heart into Cruise Control. No anxiety or worry. I was sure I was going to die 2,000 vertical feet down the scree field. So, what did I do? I turned around, looked up that infinite sand hill… ‘Yup. I’m going to die. But, (pointing up the incline) I’m going to die going THAT way.‘ Will you epi-pen me or Shake me or something? Now, I can’t get it out of that gear. I love her response. No, I won’t. I’ll give you this cold burger they got for you just in case, and sit here in silence with you as you keep making your way back as slowly as you need. You already shocked your system. Eat. No need to stir the water. You did that up there. It’ll clear. Your heart will thaw into reg. Why do you keep throwing off the blankets? You did that in your sleep, too. I don’t understand. It’s 19 degrees, and you’re in shorts and a T-shirt. I think I cracked a smile which cracked open my lips again to warmly drip blood down my chin On the burger. Yum. My Own Life Sauce. Cold? I don’t feel cold right now. The blankets are too hot. As she blotted my bleeding, she smiled. That tells me again you’re not back yet. Well, YOU are back, just that YOU yourself are not here yet. We sat for an hour. The Silence may have been the best conversation I’ve ever had, right along with the best burger ever.

What Beauties of Golden Experiences Have You Discovered During Your Darkest Hours That Flowed Up From Within To Fill The Cracks, and rather than motion-limiting scars, to Kintsukuroi Your Self in Celebration of Your Experiences?

Don’t waste trouble. ~ Paul Pennock, P.E.

I made a diamond out of my misfortune. ~ Jodorowski’s Chariot Speaks

********

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Experience

What Have You Mined, and Kept?

Thanks for visting with You, as only you can be

ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

 
21 Comments

Posted by on November 10, 2020 in Promotions

 

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Pt 2, What Is ImaginAction?

14 Aug
  • ImaginAction
  • ImaginAction 2.0
ImaginAction and ImaginAction 2.0 ~ The Unplugged Sessions

You asked, you shall receive

ImaginAction is a system for immersion in your chosen focus AND/OR also like a visual eSpa a place to simply get away for several moments or an hour+ and Be in the 78 eAblution Pools of inviting watercolors and welcoming questions. It’s all yours when you’re there as it is a 103-page pdf with 78 in full color. It’s a place to learn more of your own story, and take action with it.

There’s A

There’s a Creation Story. Of course there’s a How-To, though ImaginAction is pretty Mac-like plug-n-play. You might skip the instructions and go straight to the pools. I don’t suggest to, though I also don’t suggest not to. Heck, maybe I do suggest you skip the instructions first, go to the eAblution Pools, and see what happens. Then, when something happens and you steep in it, you can always go back to see how to tune that experience in as fuel for your actions in life:

personally
in business
Mindfulness
Divination
Meditation
with Tarot or Oracles or Runes or all three... 
or of course YOUR fave go-to divination tools
OR...

My Favorite part

No cards at all other than you. What a Card you are, huh?!!

AND, News Flash

This Just In!!!

ImaginAction is pain free, effective Self help. The lazy student’s fast track to great results. No wordy waffle to wade through, just beautiful pools of colour to sink into… Portals into the greatest story ever told. No! Not that one! An even better one! Your story! A discovery of who you are, of who you can be when you claim your own power.

~ Eda Ryven

Thank you, Eda! Much appreciated!

Wow, What an excellent review. I won’t even call it a mini-review. What else need be said About ImaginAction? I know you are a private person, Eda. I appreciate you sending me that and outright instructing me to use it. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Mme Ryven. Thank you!

$3.90 USD to download that? Eda’s talking about the $3.90 thing? You sure, Jordan? You’re sure you’re not pasting that into the wrong post?

Yes. Yes. Yes. And, Yes, I’m sure.

It’s a 1 2 3

1 ~ Order For $3.90

2 ~ Download

3 ~ Pick up what Eda’s layin’ down.

A 1 a 2 a 1 2 3 4.

Click below

Jordan’s Shop Supports This Blog. Check out the great eStocking Stuffers to add that special flourish of visual music for the eyes and the soul to complement your gifting.

*********************

Which music-for-your-eyes eProducts from the Shop do you give this year? 

Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 14, 2020 in The Deceptive Simplicity Series

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What Is ImaginAction?

14 Aug

You asked, you shall receive

ImaginAction is a system for immersion in your chosen focus AND/OR also like a visual eSpa a place to simply get away for several moments or an hour+ and Be in the 78 eAblution Pools of inviting watercolors and welcoming questions. It’s all yours when you’re there as it is a 103-page pdf with 78 in full color.

There’s A

There’s a Creation Story. Of course there’s a How-To, though ImaginAction is pretty Mac-like plug-n-play. You might skip the instructions and go straight to the pools. I don’t suggest to, though I also don’t suggest not to. Heck, maybe I do suggest you skip the instructions first, go to the eAblution Pools, and see what happens. Then, when something happens and you steep in it, you can always go back to see how to tune that experience in as fuel for your actions in life:

personally
in business
Mindfulness
Divination
Meditation
with Tarot or Oracles or Runes or all three... 
or of course YOUR fave go-to divination tools
OR...

My Favorite part

No cards at all other than you. What a Card you are, huh!!

You see, you don’t need to be into Tarot or divination. At all. Though, all of us have imaginations. What about people crippled with PTSD? Do they have imaginations? Yes, and I’ll tell you from 1st hand experience, they, and I, had/have imaginations that desiccated, died on the vine. 1st the creativity diminishes, took about 18 months of the poison drip person, then the subtle deflation missed it’s so incremental that it goes an you don;t come to the realization until after. And then, one day, you have this strange lack of feeling coupled with an overly-strong thought that, Oh shit. I am only a problem-solver now. That flow, those connections, that fluid fluency. It’s gone. As an Architect, Tarot Reader, Astrologer, Painter… This felt like going blind. How am I going to do my work. And, I couldn’t. I can’t have this. I have to heal this. So, I took the long road home. Dropped Facebook and Twitter and LinkedIn. Only kept twitter for a visual beauty IV drip with no words while… 3+ years of Brainspotting. 2 years of writing after to get my bearings. And, Late February this year 2 weeks before the 3/19 shutdown over here (US) my nascence, my dormancy cracked open. And…

Here we are.

That was My Direct Experience of PTSD

Fortunately, I only experienced the environment that caused it for 3 years before I felt the above and the Inner Horror Movie Voice rang in as my savior… Get Outtttttt.

I took the long road home. 3+ years of bi-weekly-ish Brainspotting with a Licensed Psychologist. That’s another thing you’ll get from ImaginAction. Creating the kinds of experiences for people post-Brainspotting that I find valuable and healthy.

So, let me see. Let’s call that 73 – 80 1 1/2 hour intense sessions at $120 a pop. That’s 110 – 120 hours of intense therapy which shook out to approx just over $9k. It really doesn’t matter how long it took to bring it all together and format n stuff. That’s boring, right?

  • ImaginAction
  • ImaginAction 2.0
ImaginAction and ImaginAction 2.0 ~ The Unplugged Sessions

You just want the goods. Give me the baby not the delivery! I get it.

Ok, so I turned $9-grand into a self-filling eSpa full of 78 eAblution Pools for the price of a coffee. $3.90. Yup, from an R & D perspective, that sounds about right. You pay approx 3/10,000ths of what it took to get there. And, that $3.90 coffee investment in yourself, self-refills… and most have indicated it did them more than some good as well. Good stuff. I find it fulfilling when something I make moves someone in wonderful ways. I would also be remiss if I didn’t say that the $3.90/EA price tag in line with the price of a coffee for a 103-page pdf download that is complete with no strings attached… $3.90 also makes this accessible to most everyone. And, since you get to download 3 copies, that’s one two keep, and two to pay forward. And, with the 3 copies gig and paying forward… that makes it accessible to almost everyone.

So, I ask

Will you allow ImaginAction to begin to enhance and better the way you are your own guide today, or the way you want to be your own guide for $3.90 USD?

ImaginAction

To Enhance, to Reinforce, to Strengthen

Your Life, Your Way

Will you allow ImaginAction to begin?

To begin to enhance & better Your way, your own way?

Jordan’s Shop Supports This Blog. Check out the great eStocking Stuffers to add that special flourish of visual music for the eyes and the soul to complement your gifting.

*********************

Which music-for-your-eyes eProducts from the Shop do you give this year? 

Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on August 14, 2020 in The Deceptive Simplicity Series

 

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The 3rd Session

14 Jul

As If

I’ve lived my life as if my life depended on it, in the perpetual present. I value my experiences, regardless. They have all together brought me to where I am now. No regrets. No mistakes. All OFLs.

My mistakes are all OFLs. Especially the ONE bad-ass of the bad relationships I allowed myself to remain in for 2+ years. Now, as the song goes, Now you’re someone that I used to know.

OFLs. Every. Single. One. Especially that one. Each contributed to where I’ve arrived in my life today. But, that one? I have to thank her for that one… as … I decided to….

Feel Into Myself with…

3 Years of Brainspotting

Feeling into that last experience that led me to that, and forgetting it into action. As, forgetting is for getting. It makes more room for the good stuff. I feel to embrace, breathe, and share…

The greatest fear for success should not be failure. It should Be succeeding at something that doesn’t matter.

~ Francis Chan

That Relationship

That relationship didn’t matter with the constant, toxic drip of shaming behaviors. I mattered, though, and understood that even a Professional Psychologist could get to her. I’m not a Professional Psychologist. I woke up when, outside of my family, I lost the thing most personal thing. 1st my creativity went. Then, my imagination died on the vine, desiccated by the drip so slowly that right before my eyes that I hadn’t seen it happen… right under my nose.

Creativity and imagination going away are pretty much one of the most common symptoms of PTSD, and when a relationship is a prison camp of Steven’s Wright’s dog named Stay. And, for an Artist, an Architect, a Tarot Reader and Astologer and Author? Fear incarnate. Like Steven Wright naming his dog Stay.

Come here, Stay. Come here, Stay.

I had to do something about it. We went into couple’s therapy as my requirement for staying in the relationship. I’d never given an ultimatum before as I typically see them as a unilateral decision made by one, though hidden behind the fakery that the person being given the ultimatum even has a chance. I never saw the merit of an ultimatum except in extreme cases, and this was certainly that. Still, ultimatums root themselves in control, and that has a tendency to cause disconnection and are most likely manipulation born of being afraid in most cases?

You Give

You give an ultimatum? Well, you need to be comfortable with the infinite responses possible, not a finite set of them, and certainly nothing definite. Definite, that which takes the finite away and results in a decision.

Ultimatums are worse from my perspective than the attempt to count to infinity, except in extreme cases. So, I cocked my head and realized this was one of those, an intense extreme case. If I didn’t want to die on the vine in total, or worse, experience the creative catatonic of being forever miserable, then it would begin with this.

The 1st Session

Funny thing happened on the way to…. Funny thing happened. Every time the Psychologist asked her a question in the 1st session, she’d put it off on me.

I started seeing something I’d never seen before as I wasn’t engaging in argument. I was powerfully listening because no one was coming at me directly. He was simply asking her questions. What did I see? The Narcissistic Sociopath. Projective Identity way beyond Psychological Projection, and stresses that were not Eustress. I saw rage and hatred and no fear and plenty of being afraid. Such anxiety about anything coming from the outside world… as it wold most likely be dangerous or to harm her. At least, that’s the expectation I saw her not inspect.

While calmly, calmly but fully dafuqin surprised, I calmly listened as my historical friends Carl Jung and Friedrich Nietzsche hopped up on each shoulder and settled in, settled in as I simply listened. Listened to the therapist turn her back to herself, which she would push right off over to me. And, he would calmly repeat.

I simply listened until the Psychologist turned to ask me something, and I felt into the question, attempted to open, attempted to feel-say, and say what I feLet. Rough. Raw, rugged geodes of statements where if he didn’t know what to hear for, the happy-mad-glad-sad hidden, I would have conveyed no feelings whatsoever. Though, he knew geodes better than me as a rock hound.

1st session, she leaves frustrated. I get it. This shit, this mud’s not easy. I leave with a hopeful though very furrowed brow. What dafuq just happened?

The 2nd Session

The 2nd session, I’m opening up, getting comfortable with things I was not comfortable with at all. He checkmates her. She still pushes it over. 3/4 of an hour and nothing but deflection. The therapist turns to me, and she, Wait! He’s the one with the problems. I don’t want to hear his bullshit. The therapist turns to me, Jordan, what do you think about that? I smiled one of those smiles where your temples flex. I feel she just described herself perfectly to a ‘T’. I don’t know that I have much to do with it. In fact it felt selfish to make it all about me. Her words not mine is what I got there. Her words for her to respond to.

Glad I brought a lighter. Guess that lit a show fuse.

The 3rd Session

3rd session. The therapist opens up with, Ok, Jordan is putting in an effort with an honesty that is based in vulnerability. You aren’t pulling your weight here. You are also a Psychologist. These sessions have started off wholly imbalanced, so I suggest we have two initial choices: we do them individually moving forward with each of you until both have made progress to come together in a session set; or, with him here we spend this Whole session on you in the interest of re-balancing.

OH!

Ohhhhh, was she incensed. And, I saw it, felt it whole-body. I saw the caged animal inside her lashing out through the bars. All her pain and what had been done to her — which, credit to her was quite a bit of beyond terrible And tragic things throughout her life. There’s a beauty in that gift of sight with someone when you see them warts and all, and then I came back from the experience on the other side… of the couch… into the room as she burst out in a rager of a Rantra at HIM… you know, the therapist, the one who couldn’t have done any of this to her? Yeah, that guy.

And, up and out of the session she flew.

We Had

We had come in from different parts of town, so different cars. His eyebrows go up calmly nodding to me. So, do you need to get up and go? I smiled. Ha! I saw what I was up against when she blamed you. She’s been doing that to me with every question she has ever asked after the 1st 2 months, for the last 2+ years. Your a profession in the Psych industry. With what I saw happen in these past 3 sessions, could YOU even ever get to her?

It doesn’t happen often, though most likely not.

Ok, I’m not a Psych professional, so the odds of me getting through? Less than zero to give myself at least some credit.

He smiled. I Continued.

She’s an Angler fish with her shiny questions and then GOBBLE, and you only then swim inside her shame. I saw that for the 1st Time today. There’s NO way YOU could be responsible for ANY of what she put on you tonight. She and I? That ended when the door closed behind her just now. It’s not the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was caused by the 1 million 435 thousand straws piled up on there unnoticed one by one until… I’m not Atlas.

So, nope, not leaving. We came in separate cars, she and I are through. I’ll handle that later. For my safety I may need to check into a hotel. Though, we still have 40 minutes, right?

Well then, yes we do. What would you like to focus on?

And the Long Road Home Began As…

I saw on your bio that you do Brainspotting. How does that work? Something is like a magnet inside me fascinated with that, and I know spare little about it.

He proceeded to give me the general overview in several minutes.

Well, COOL! Let’s get started. Let me stand up and shake that previous off, maybe an adrenaline dump like dogs and cats literally shaking it off and back into flow, and breathe deeply, then sit down…. Ok, how do we start?

And, We Did

I Took the Long Road Home

I took the long road home, ended the Internal Civil War between my own Parts, things I’ve called Inner Inheritances in Tarot in the Land of Mystereum and ImaginAction, and ImaginAction 2.0 that caused me to not only allow that kind of relationship, but to maybe even to expect it. Interesting to me that I wrote about things that I was doing naturally, though that wouldn’t reach the intensity to dive even deeper than I had in writing those books.

The Parts Now?

The Parts now? Now, I continue to work with and listen to them regardless of their intensity as they come up, or they choose to be allies in different ways not ready yet to dissolve in those ablution cascades of tingles in parts of the body when they do. And, some are heard, and I ask them their message. As I receive, they disappear into me, and I feel ablution tingles as they cascade disperse to re-home where they belong in my body.

I feel again now. I feel and do my creative work. I’m in love with my creativity and imagination again. I look forward to where that takes me from here.

After 3+ years of Brainspotting, Sovereign.

18 months ago I paused Brainspotting after 3+ years, looked up from my desk. Why was I even sitting there? Why had I been sitting there for the same hour every day for 2 weeks. I chuckled and smiled wide temples flexing eyes brightening and began writing as if I had never stopped… as out loud I said,

In Regards to Unresolved Trauma That Triggers You, Here’s a Bastille Day Poem I Wrote in 1993

Stop

Who Is to free the prisoners when sand sleeps in the eternity of the titled hourglass?

(C)) 1993 Jordan Hoggard

There is an art to learning your cup is always being filled with beauty, and learning how to tip it over to spill some out. Beauty spilled is a mess that doesn’t need to be cleaned up. Trauma, trauma stuck inside and driving you. May I suggest to learn ways to tilt the hourglass back up to wake up those sands of trauma so they can flow rather than fester?

Now, it’s time

Now it’s time to grow a Lotus out of this mud.

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now, put the foundations under them.

~ Henry David Thoreau, Walden

And, I began writing again, differently now.

That All started

That all started 4 1/2 years ago.

I took the long road home, on purpose.

I cherish what I went through and have done and how I’ve grown into myself where my boundaries look like… well, they look just like me. In the last 18 months from It’s time to grow a Lotus out of this mud,, and from all the creative work I did before the poisonous drip and ooooohhhh SHINY of the Angler Fish‘s bait… they live here now. In me. Perennials waking after a long winter sleep to wake verdant and naturalize in my voice.

And, what’s that? What have I done. Naturalize my perennials? I’ve begun to naturalize the perennial of me in my wonderful Soul Garden. Soul Gardener… hmmm, I like that. Thank you M.Y. — you know who you are. That card you gave me at REI that day Sitting on the bench with coffee in Denver in 2006-2007. You wrote that to me. You referred to me as a Soul Gardener in your card. It was such an honor and went way over my head of the credit I was NOT giving myself back then to believe in my work fully. That stuck. And now, I’m unstuck. Thank you for that gift, for that card, for your astute and apt and heartfelt words, so I can now thank myself for my value, and be grateful… I can be grateful that I have a Soul Gardener to help me Naturalize further in my life, may way. Thank you, M.Y.

Quick fixes have shallow roots.

~ Unknown

Storms make the oaks take deeper roots.

~ George Herbert

A tree with deep roots laughs at storms.

~ Malay Proverb

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in the bud was greater than the risk it took to blossom.

~ Anais Nin

Religion and Heaven are for people who do not want to go to Hell. Spirituality is for those of us who have already been there.

~ David Bowie
Reflections (c) 2006 Jordan Hoggard

My Soul Gardener Asks

What cornerstone in life do you brace against to grow a Lotus out of the mud in an area of your life… no matter how long it takes?

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Posted by on July 14, 2020 in The Deceptive Simplicity Series

 

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Long After… Walden Then. Walden Now. Walden 200 Years From Now

08 Jul

Please visit Dihedral’s post clicking on this… and I will piggy-back my YES! below

What a wonderful Walden Then, Walden Now, Walden 200 Years from Now post! Called Trajectory

How can we not waste trouble so this doesn’t CONTINUE to happen? That we do not continue to self-sabotage our world? Cummon! We heal ourselves to higher octave levels. I’m now wondering how I can transpose my current perspective into healing for the Earth itself. Nope, not selling the VW van I don’t have and all my worldly possessions. I‘M going to, personally, feel into the strats and logistics of this differently. How about you? Heck, mortgage paid off in 15 years? Cool. Nope, not cool. The Earth may yank THAT carpet out from under you when it urps up a bigger NOPE removing the very ground you walk on… So, keep your deed as a souvenir… if any of us are even still alive to revel in it around the campfire then, then you’ll have a sacred relic.

Please visit The Dihedral’s site for their most recent post.

I’m not pleading. Sovereign doesn’t grovel, it simply owns. I’ve almost died already 3 times Above treeline. I’m in Bonus Play, and I have no desire for a 4th. Like, respect for what you have and are building? Hmmm…

(Oh puhleeeeze scare tactics are for unreasonably superficial spam. Yup, that’s not this public service message)

Please take another step to secure the effective gigs you’ve built in your work to layer in the scale of all of us.

Thank You.

The greatest fear for success should not be failure. It should Be succeeding at something that doesn’t matter.

~ Francis Chan

Proceed as if success is inevitable.

~ Unknown

Can we take the long road home now? Can we Inspect our expectations to see the beauty that is here and not continue to murder it? Aren’t we each the heartbeats of beauty? I’ll step in with my, Yup. Maybe that should be an Uncle Walt Yawp!

5 of Pentacles Mystereum Tarot Moment

So,

So, you’ve watched my 5 of Pentacles Mystereum Tarot Moment, all 1 min 06 seconds of it… don’t blink!, though you still have questions like, Well, that sure sounds nice Jordan, though however am I going to see past the trigger of the hurt and see what you’re saying in the video? I don’t even know what that means, That’s fair, except not really fair, because that would be cruel (Thanks Bare Naked Ladies).

What’s Really the Issue?

What’s really the issue with being actionable about that? It now doesn’t sound like rocket science to save our world. It. Is Simply. Continued. And. Sustained Action. Hear and feel the established inner light through the pain in the video? Well, if so…

Can we Kintsukuroi Our Broken World?

Here’s a gourmet poem for self-nourishment and word-nourishement, Kintsukuroi Me, by Christina Schmidt, MA… that can be transposed to the Self-Care and partnership relationship strengths of an ability to receive of the Earth itself.

What cornerstone of the world can we brace against that sends veins of gold throughout Gaia? What Mother Lode of a cornerstone can we brace against to sidestep the shallow roots of quick fixes, and instead use this Fucked Up Storm as the oak tree does to take deeper roots… to become… A strong tree that has no worry about storms? in support of its evident beauty? How can we together do that?

Self-created? Sure. And. As well also, Oh puhLEEZ!

Personally, I have ONE Principal in the Principal’s Office of My Life. Me. And, Sovereign,

I don’t keep office hours.

Instead, I Live.

Can we all simply own it? Frankly, we’re in for it in this epoch, so it’s not our fault. THOUGH, we have certainly put our foot to the floor in 6th gear running the tach high Into the redline to amplify it. Can we perform a diff shift-n-corner-BayBEE mode?

Can We

Can we forsake blame, lose the reverse gear of shaming, and simply work with, OK, we fucked up. What are we gong to do about it? There’s no apology in that other than the transformed effectiveness of a lifelong mode of being. No one’s going to be taken to the Principal’s Office. We’re ALL in trouble here without punitive anything. Survival? Thrival? I choose the latter. And, beauty is requisite for that, How about we come together and solve and resolve this shit! How about we amplify our world in lieu of deflation?!

How have you not wasted trouble, used your imagination to actionably dive in, and come out the other side with effective and living actions that served you better and increased the value of your work? Cool. How can we all use that to amplify this to the world scale and sustainably implement it?

How do you self-nourish?,

and how good are you at receiving from another, or others?

How good are you at receiving?

Can we find out how good the Earth is at receiving from US?!

We have a lot to live for. Can we?

Jordan’s Shop Supports This Blog. Check out the great eStocking Stuffers to add that special flourish of visual music for the eyes and the soul to complement your gifting.

*********************

Which music-for-your-eyes eProducts from the Shop do you give this year? 

Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

 
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Posted by on July 8, 2020 in The Deceptive Simplicity Series

 

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Long After… What Hurts the Most

07 Jul

My mistakes are all OFLs.

Opportunities For Learning.

Every. Single. One.

They each contributed to where I’ve arrived today. Aaron Lewis’ work resonates with that for me.

What messages have not wasting trouble gifted you?

The greatest fear for success should not be failure. It should Be succeeding at something that doesn’t matter.

~ Francis Chan

Proceed as if success is inevitable.

~ Unknown

My Internal Civil War Ended.

How? I took the long road home is how. Inspecting my expectations to see what was actually really there about me. Not overlooking myself such as is the heartbeat of the

5 of Pentacles Mystereum Tarot Moment

So,

So, you’ve watched my 5 of Pentacles Mystereum Tarot Moment, all 1 min 06 seconds of it… don’t blink!, though you still have questions like, Well, that sure sounds nice Jordan, though however am I going to see past the trigger of the hurt and see what you’re saying in the video? I don’t even know what that means That’s fair, except not really fair, because that would be cruel (Thanks Bare Naked Ladies).

What’s really the issue with being actionable about that. Rather than me responding to the fiction of my response to my fictional question to just Devil’s Advocate myself for some taffy pull fun to test specs with my work, how about this instead… Read a gourmet poem by Christina Schmidt, MA, that I’ve linked below. Kintsukuroi Me. It has just one image with it, just one. And, spare few words. I feel that reading her poem and seeing the picture and applying the title to yourself… hmmm, might just do the trick, or at least crack the glass ceiling of the hull of an important seed… Sovereignty.

If it doesn’t, you and I can move on. Everyone’s different , like everyone else. And, I feel Christina’s KintsuKuroi Me applies to everyone, especially once you’re Sovereign. Maybe even THAT’s when you can utilize your personal gold even more. THere’s a lot to explore in the higher octaves and depths where your roots fly as high as your roots finger deep. No Icarus here. Daedalus and Chiron BayBEE.

What Cornerstone

What cornerstone of your life do you brace against that sends veins of gold throughout you from your Mother Lode. What Mother Lode of a cornerstone do you brace against to sidestep the shallow roots of quick fixes, where storms make Your oak tree take deeper roots… to become… A strong tree has no worry about storms?

How have you not wasted trouble, used your imagination to actionably dive in, and come out the other side with effective and living actions That serve you better to increase the value of your work?

How do you self-nourish?,

and how good are you at receiving from another, or others?

How good are you at receiving?

How much do you pay attention to cherish the leading (stain glass) of your scars and transform them into the gold that is experience… like the Japanese vase that more beautiful because it’s been broken like Kintsukuroi?

*********************

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Posted by on July 7, 2020 in The Deceptive Simplicity Series

 

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Sexism in Architecture… Julia Morgan’d Take You Down!

29 Jun

Julia Morgan

  1. Yup, the interrogating tensions of creativity accept no substitute or error. 🙂 Nope, not on the list. And, then you found your own sacred combo, and COSMIC SAFE CRACKED.The Architect? Remind me a bit of the Ace of Wands… possibly, I would have done better to pair him up with the Queens of Cups and Wands back then? Neh, I didn’t. Will now, though. 🙂https://jordanhoggard.com/tag/ace-of-wands/?ak_action=reject_mobileReplyLike
    1. Pure & BlessedJordan HoggardI always think he feels Ace of Swordish but now you mention Wands, the way I read A of W is more in keeping. Maybe he’s the Ace of Bunsen burners mixing and tweaking balance of fire and air to get the right result.
      Q of C! I’m sure she’d love it 🤣Reply1Like
  2. Jordan HoggardAs an Architect, I’d go with all of the above + Q of W and + K of Wands + Q of P for QC + Q of W. Ace of W at the tip of his/her Architect’s pencil, then + the rest of every deck available.Maybe we would do well to ask julia Morgan… as other than Jose Plecznic and Imhotep and whoever did (R.A Schwaller DeLubicz’s beloved) the Temple of Luxor at Karnak, she’s my fave Architect. When asked about Frank Lloyd Wright’s public outbursts and way, her contemporary, she simply responded, “Oh he always does that when he’s broke or about to be. I have too much work to have time for that brand of superficial distraction. He’s just marketing as if his life depended on it, because it’s about to. You can tell when he’s about to go broke. He always convinces the bank he needs a new Cord, and then he shows up looking successful and gets those same type of clients. He does appearances. I do reality.” 🙂 dafuqin LOVE her.Ever heard of Casa Grande, the Wm Randolph Hearst mansion? That’s all Julia. 🙂 As sexist as Architecture is, Julia Morgan rocked it beyond the profession’s walls, seismically, 100 years ago… Go figure. In 1908 -1916 her reinforced concrete structures had seriously strong earthquake survival rates
  3. So did her Presence As Architecture. Unfortunately… ever heard of her? Lots of people keep their brilliant head down and change the world for the better. Maybe she’s one?
  4. As an Architect, I’d go with all of the above + Q of W and + K of Wands + Q of P for QC + Q of W. Ace of W at the tip of his/her Architect’s pencil, then + the rest of every deck available. Maybe we would do well to ask julia Morgan… as other than Jose Plecznic and Imhotep and Carlos Scarpa … whoever did (R.A Schwaller DeLubicz’s beloved) the Temple of Luxor at Karnak, she’s my fave Architect.
  5. When asked about Frank Lloyd Wright’s public outbursts and way, her contemporary mind you, she simply responded, “Oh he always does that when he’s broke or about to be. I have too much work to have time for that brand of superficial distraction. He’s just marketing as if his life depended on it, because it’s about to. You can tell when he’s about to go broke. He always convinces the bank he needs a new Cord, and then he shows up looking successful and gets those same type of clients. He does appearances. I do reality.” 
  6. Oh, did I say that before? Guess it deserved repeating. 🙂 dafuqin LOVE her.
  7. Ever heard of Casa Grande, the Wm Randolph Hearst mansion? That’s all Julia. 🙂 As sexist as Architecture is, Julia Morgan rocked it beyond the profession’s walls, seismically, 100 years ago… Go figure. In 1908 -1916 her reinforced concrete structures had seriously strong earthquake survival rates. So did her Presence As Architecture. Unfortunately… ever heard of her? Lots of people keep their brilliant head down and change the world for the better. She was certainly one. As she expressed, “I have too much work not to.” Maybe she’s one?🙂 re: FLW?: https://despair.com/products/underachievementhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_Morgan

*********

Soon the whole 10-volume set will be available back in one re-joined work… no more cliffhanger about the ending of the Prescient Remembrance Series…

Help yourself set yourself up for success in how you come across with ImaginAction.

*********

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ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

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Posted by on June 29, 2020 in The Deceptive Simplicity Series

 

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What Cornerstone In Life Do You Brace Against?

17 Jun

As If

I’ve lived my life as if my life depended on it, in the perpetual present. I value my experiences, regardless. They have all together brought me to where I am now. No regrets. No mistakes. All OFLs.

My mistakes are all OFLs.

Every. Single. One. They each contributed to where I’ve arrived today.

OFLs

The greatest fear for success should not be failure. It should Be succeeding at something that doesn’t matter.

~ Francis Chan

Proceed as if success is inevitable.

~ Unknown

My process of being naturally comfortable with the not-knowing while getting things done? Maybe it’s due to having almost died on the mountain once, twice, three times? Maybe, it’s also due to a life of welcoming experience over worry. I become more connected to Self and Others, and feel more strongly, feel more clearly the older I get.

And, not by a numbing where I just ignore intense gigs because my awareness or boundaries have eroded, or I’ve simply become accustomed to them Where the blush is off the rose. In fact I notice that I respond or don’t more now.  I can also thank taking the long road home with 3+ years of bi-weekly Brainspotting in my late 40s certainly didn’t hurt.

Someone Recently Asked

I love that someone recently asked me about my 5+ year radio silence. DOOD, what DID you do. you’re so clear now like you really love what you’re dong, AND we can all share in that as well. You were brilliant before, though at times hard to follow as you’d paint the WHOLE picture at once. Yup, YOU just saw it and felt it, though keeping up with your revs and where you were going was exhausting, and actually almost impossible. Your simple steps were leaps of faith for me, and I’m no Evil Knievel. Understood, you were thinking and feeling out loud, though now I’m resonating with what you’re doing, clearly! Glad to have you back! And, more so, glad you have a more aware clarity of what you are doing in a way you can express it to us! Thank you!

I’ve lived my life as if my life depended on it, as those 3 times it certainly did.

The 3rd One

On the 3rd one — a short time after, me still swimming in the experience still wet behind the ears so to speak from it  — i paused. I felt something stir deep within me that rose to the surface like Poseidon rising up through my Natal 10th House Neptune Mercury conjunction. My head popped up as if a long lost friend suddenly appeared as if to continue a conversation interrupted years ago.

Yes?, I asked. The message response coming back…

Yes. Yes, indeed, Jordan. Yes, keep that. It’s yours.

When? October 1999. Where? Mt Democrat, a 14er near Breckinridge, CO. I kept the triangular piece of basalt I found when sitting on the backside cornice over the scree field when Sand-aiding my cuts — like Bandaids, except with sand — kept it in my pocket daily for 5 years.

And, a Wonderful Person

And, a wonderful person heard the story, and the cloister experience of near death and opening to it to live that I had on the mountain. And, about my rock I carried in my pocket for 5 years, both Linus Blanket and sacred talisman. She asked, Will you entrust your memory rock to me for a while? No certainty of timeframe, open ended, simply entrust it to me for a while? I will of course take very good care of it. Your story inspired an idea, a grand one really. Will you send it to me to hold for you for a while? I feel it has inspired me to grow something for you in my Soul Garden.

My watercolor paintings put with what I received are from my Constructing the Center series from 1993-1995. I found my rock on the top of Mt Democrat in 1999. Sent my rock to her in early summer 2009. And, late summer 2009, a curious box arrived via UPS.Why does this feel so important? Hey, you’re on the covered porch in this turn-of-the-century bungalow house you live in. Though, come in fully. Come in out of the rain. It wasn’t raining. This intensely pivotal experience had started.

Return, Re-Surfacing

My rock had been returned as she expressed it would, though differently. Something else was re-surfacing. A card wonderfully penned, deckled edge card lay on top of red silk, Lilac-Carmine-touch of Carmenere red silk. On it, deceptively simply words…

Yes! This had not simply been a Nanny over the summer for my rock, or a field trip for it, or for me to release it to more fully open. I opened the box. No annoying packing peanuts. Packaging of sheer Carmenere-Lilac silk. on top of red silk, Lilac-Carmine-touch of Carmenere red silk. On Top of the silk lay a deckled edge 140-pound watercolor card. No envelope, pre-opened. Simply the card. Wonderfully penned with care and attention and flow were these words

Your story inspired an idea, a grand one really.

Enjoy the unfolding.

Yes!

Lifting the folds open carefully, lovingly lifting, undulating in a slow kelping rhythm of unfolding sacred treasure. Unfolding, one discovery-strata of silk fold after another. Unfolding. Kelping, unfolding. And, revealing…

There it was!

My Eyebrows Lifted

My eyebrows lifted to give room to my brightening eyes’ amazement. I may have well knocked a portal through the ceiling in my office to provide room for what was happening. There It was. My rock. My equilateral triangle, basalt talisman rock. Though, it came home, RIDING it’s own home! It now lived as the centerpiece talisman on an amazing wand!

I have such gratitude for that moment. Such gratitude. I cherish that experience. I cherish the 2-way street of not-knowing and courage that led to it. I cherish what it means for someone to reach out like that. I cherish that my experience inspired another. I cherish my not-knowing And a courage to let go of the Linus Blanket of my basalt talisman… and send it, like sending it off to finishing school.

To Put It Lightly

To put it lightly, I’ll tell ya, I sent it after quite a bit of internal tug-o-war.

In letting go, the past transcended past what I typically consider being way beyond My levels of acceptable risk. They’re high in the 1st place, though I Fooled from start to finish, as did she. I trusted that the ground would rise up to support my every step in unknown territory, trusted her at her word and trusted the not-knowing.

The Internal Civil War Ended

The internal civil war ended when a thought-feeling washed over me. I wasn’t letting go of my basalt talisman. I wasn’t letting go of one of the most intense experiences of my life. The experience was finally integrating, and sending of my rock was an Initiation. I wasn’t letting go of my rock. I was sending it to a Master Soul Gardener, to naturalize it in its own Soul Garden of a wand.

Though, no

Though, no amount of wisdom or foresight or clarity of vision Or prescience or prescient remembrance would have ever prepared me for what was lovingly nestled in the soil folds inside that sacred, cardboard geode box.

What Happened?

What happened? Beyond my wildest dreams is what happened. Something happened that I neither expected nor could have fathomed. What happened I cherish to this day, gather I always will. What happened was beyond sending my rock. What happened was I received, fully. I received, and opened more than just that cardboard geode that arrived on my doorstep.

I lifted my rock, now fully alive and living on a wonderful and majestic and powerful wand from the geode seed of its box. I lifted it from the grand idea that had occurred prior to its creation, prior to its creation, prior to its making, prior to its growing its soul out of another’s Soul Garden. Now, it lived, embraced in my hands. Now, it was my turn to get on my way right there with my own Soul Garden Ally right there in my hands in my Soul Garden.

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now, put the foundations under them.

~ Henry David Thoreau, Walden

What Cornerstone

What cornerstone in life do you brace against?

What cornerstone in life do you brace against to build and place the foundations up to support the castles of your dreams built way up there?

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Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

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Posted by on June 17, 2020 in The Deceptive Simplicity Series

 

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Blog by Comment ~ Racism & the Mosquito

15 Jun

Comment inspired by Charles C. Earl’s Weblog.

  • Notice all the little people up and down HieroDood… wisdom, new spirit, activation, down-to-earth spirit
  • transformation, Phoenix, renewal, The Ultimate Master Gardener
  • unfamiliar energies in action, awakening, incorporating energies on the move

Racism & the Mosquito

Yes!! Yes!!! How do I make the font bigger in a comment? I guess by repetition. YESSSS!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Charles for discerning it to be time for your voice to step up. Much appreciated. We’re all different, like everyone else. All similar, each unique. Maybe no-one is born equal, though we’re all born with equal value as human beings. Rather than equality, shall we make a move towards equanimity?

I’m reminded of of a professor showing up at the Black Belt Tae Kwon Do Class I was instructing in college for P.E. credit — read in: wage theft under the guise of credit completion, honor back then, I didn’t yet know any better at 19. Though, kinda the wrong environment to show up making trouble, though hey, some people are also trained to have a pre-Approved Darwin Award Applications.

I laugh, it was straight out of a Kung Fu Theatre movie with someone coming in the challenge the Master, except here, humorously, with no martial skills… or even a thoughtful demeanor.

In shoes mind you in the dojo, she jumped the knee wall and bolted across the floor towards me spewing all the while with words I won’t repeat here how I needed to remove the 2 black people and 3 Korean people from my class or else!

Smiling, calm as a daisy, though not going down like one, “Madame, this class is based on a system from Korea, and occasionally the way I teach it, from China or from within me. I’m not sure of your geography acumen other than knowing how to get to a fanatical church, so I’ll throw you a bone. Koreans, Chinese, and Africans are closer to this art’s geographical origin than you or me are here. Maybe we should both leave and stop wonderment and curiosity and experience and serendipity and exchange from continuing to poison the world.”

I still smile. She Was SO beautifully conflicted, both wanted to agree and also was in total (alleged) disagreement, because I stood her up with one hand (voice) while the other hand yanked her carpet from under her… though you also saw the check mate on her face. “Hmmmmmpopphhh.” And, she spun, and was towards almost gone. She stopped and turned around before she straddle-moved over the knee wall to which I, “Madame, there are rules that are made to be broken. So, next time you visit, make sure to take off your shoes.” 

 She bolted out as fast as she came in. Guess her fanatics sent the wrong busy-body, certainly not a hostage negotiator. I turned… “Class, can we agree that the last one to get to class locks the door?”

One of my students, ironically 2 Dans higher ranking than me (another story) chimed in, “Mr. Hoggard I thought you said that conflict wasn’t the point, not to pick fights or further them, and you just destroyed her with words. Isn’t that furthering one?”  

I smiled and bowed my head. Looking up…

“I did say that. One part of not picking or allowing fights is… Be peaceful, but know when to let motherf***ers know so they DON’T start in further. I should clarify further about violence. To yes or no it requires thoughtfulness… hmmm. Class, here’s an example, ’Man who have mosquito land on testicles learns very quickly that violence is not the best 1st course of action.‘ That’s how I got rid of her as the mosquito.”

They all laughed, and we got on with class. Though, things like that happening? Unacceptable. Of course it was Texas Bible Belt, Lubbock, 1989-1990. Let’s face it. Teaching a martial arts class, mostly inherently Eastern, that in itself was an academic minority subject to judgments and racism.

Like Lewis Hamilton expressed when asked recently if he thought racism was getting worse: “No, I don’t. WIll Smith said it best. Racism isn’t getting worse. Now, it’s just being filmed.” 

I Will Say It Out Loud…

The George Lynch MURDER

was a modern lynching.

How can you step up in your community?

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Help yourself set yourself up for success in how you come across with ImaginAction.

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Posted by on June 15, 2020 in The Deceptive Simplicity Series

 

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