Monday Tarot Mayhem

28 Aug
Monday Tarot Mayhem

So, if you are similar to me and a lot of other Tarot readers, sometimes we see and read things in simple images, in a tree, in a group of people.  Well, I thought, what the heck, it’s Monday and I woke up on the bright side.  So, enjoy this Tarot warm-up technique of reading 1st 5 spams in your spam email folder.  Heck, they’re free, and it’s a great way to loosen up, warm up, and get your juices flowing with a smile.  Then of course the ever important “D” word in marketing.  Delete.  Some things simply do not deserve your time anymore.

Think about it.  You are probably going to say NO! to most spams anyway, and I’d bet Tarot isn’t going to change your mind about that.  BUT, why not say a NO! with the higher octave of humor.  Humor is playing with the steps like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers which is beyond learning them.   Dance with your steps to warm up today.  Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem spam email topics submitted by Karen from the UK.  Send your contributions to be included in future Monday Tarot Mayhem blogs.  You can simply place them in the comments here for consideration.  Only type the spam email title and the snippet of the body text you can see without opening the spam, when it is unread.

Reading Spam As Alchemy, Serendipity, a Warm-up Exercise?  Sure!

Don’t be afraid to toss the banana peel so to speak after you get all the free goody out of it. Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem Spam emails titles and snippets are . . .

Card 1 ~ Move Her.  Do you move her with your mountain nightly?

The Knight of Wands

  • The Knight of Wands indicates pausing with too great an emphasis on spiritual matters and un-reflected actions. Being mindful of new and unfamiliar actions and feelings is also indicated. Visualize a house cracking not as hard to mend damage. . .see this as an awakening! Introspection and flux. Transition and healing. Feel renewal as you experience more spirit. Actively grow from your spiritual core rather than from the edges!
  • So, it is pretty much indicated to grow from your spiritual core to WHOLLY gettheheckOUTTA THERE!  Grab your partner and dosey DOH!  NOt much introspection and flux going on.  Awaken. RUN!!!
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = I don’t know about you, but this sounds strangely dyslexic, like making what comes out the other side sound attractive.  Move her with your mountain?  Movement?  Mountain?  Big pile?  Maybe it’s just me, but does this sound like HazMat kink?  I guess this Knight suggests to moves on into the night by being Atlas and moving your mountain.  Do you have to break it from the ground at the bottom first?

Card 2 ~ Psychic Tarot.  10 minutes FREE!

9 of Wands

    • The 9 of Wands indicates that preparation is complete and there is a fitting pause of commencement. Sitting back and taking a deep breath looking into the distance with a smile, a wonderful feeling of contentedness is also indicated. This is an auspicious time to have a great get-together! Or nail that important presentation! You feel ready, one big breath before the first guests arrive. One big breath before you enter the room for your big presentation. . . Deliver enthusiastically and let your celebration begin!
    • So, is this like a BS version of hockey tickets from work? I thought I gave the minutes more than received. Hmmmm.
    • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Preparation is complete.  NO. My prep’s good. Go ahead. After you, please.

Card 3 ~ Vigray C1al15.  Love her through the Night

King of Pentacles

  • The King of Pentacles indicates being the Master Builder, a loves building concrete and psychic structures together. Things created and living of their own accord, standing the test of time, is indicated. Only things of quality need be considered at this time. Be filled with life in the directness of your every gesture. This is a fitting time of grand and exquisite strength and wit.
  • So, it’s pretty clear that something grandly and exquisitely fishy is up as this King is titling his email in easily discerned number substitution code.  Love her through the night with Viagra and Cialis?  Sounds like a trap.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Please spell your words with letters, thank you! And, spell them properly, too.  Hard AND gray?  Not like there’s anything wrong with that, though . . . .

Card 4 ~ Nocturnal dreams.  Why sleep when partner still wants you?

2 of Wands

  • The 2 of Wands indicates warning of potential disaster by overload and imbalance. Look for your natural path. Do not become overwhelmed by perceiving many little things as one big thing. Being aware when you are daydreaming is also indicated. See though the mirages of your fixations. Listening, waiting, and being on the move clearly is indicated to pull you through this time where you may feel barraged.
  • So, I think I need to sleep . . . SOME time. I still can’t get over the feeling of “partner” in this query.  It sounds less and less like a PC way to say one’s significant other and more like a fling with a Western movie star on set.  I can hear John Wayne saying “Whya sleep whiiiinnnnaaa pardner stilll wantzzz Ya?”  Uh, no offense, but uh . .  let me think.  No.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = All those little glowing things swirling around your head?  They’re real.  Dreams are coming out to attack you and drag you in if you don’t at LEAST take a nap right now.  Either you rolled in a mountain of something or your delusions are like technicolor flies.

Card 5 ~ Bank of American. IMPORTANT account reactivation required

8 of Cups

  • The 8 of Cups indicates a freeze-framing in your midst. You may feel this as listlessness or lack of purpose. Move away from what no longer works to something new. The baby steps of new actions just poking through are also indicated. Let in the laughable of your current situation. Traveling to a new place, even if it is simply the park around the corner may help to clear things of their own accord. Feel free to pause your focus and deflate your troubled inertia as you move around in new surroundings!, even for a little bit.
  • So, DAYum right there’s a freeze-framing.  First off, banks tend to spell their own names correctly. Isn’t it Bank of American, or is someone somewhere else referring to all banks used by Americans? Secondly, I bank elsewhere.  I’ll pause my focus as I expand on the vertical plateau of my screen.  Select, DeLETE.  Ahhhhh.  Next.  Oops, that’s all folks.  This was Spam recognition Novice Level!
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = The moral of the story I would like to take the time to express today is that even if YOUR bank emails you and it lands in Spam . . . don’t click.  Go to your bank site manually.  Banks have a habit of making sure their notifications go to the right places.  Let the endless plateau of spam be a clue for some guilt by association for emails.  It’ll break that click response and strengthen your mouse pointing skills. 🙂

Thanks for warming up your dance with today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem! Part of

the Mayhem today was a big ole interesting ????? .  I didn’t receive Spams much this morning.  That’s almost unbelievable. Still a little quizzled as that has NEVER happened.  Must have been some glitchy something somewhere.  Oh well, maybe I should make up a spare tire for Mondays.  Having to STOP depending on Spam sounds absurd, though maybe with keyword connectivity the trash-barnacles of spam retreated into their shells or blew away like trash.  I’d say hmmmm, though not worth the time.  Heck, if it’s a Big Bro gig, that’d be awesome having Big Bro staff taking out the trash each day.  So long as they don;t mistakenly pick any emails I valued. Lol

Higher octave your week with humor!  Discover the treasure of the gifts that arrive when you say NO! with GUSTO!  You’d be surprised at the table turner of humor.

“Laughter is the shortest distance between people.” ~ Victor Borge

Have a great week!

Mystereum at MyDivination!

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All images and text (c)2010, 2012 Jordan Hoggard

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Posted by on August 28, 2012 in Card Curiosities, The Mystery


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2 responses to “Monday Tarot Mayhem

  1. moderndayruth

    August 28, 2012 at 12:54 am

    Awesome, wise and witty!!! Not to mention that Kn of W is one of my favs from your deck <3

    • mystereum

      August 28, 2012 at 2:41 pm

      Thx For checking it out, and I appreciate your great taste in that Knight! Have a great one!


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