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Mystereum Tarot Monday Mayhem

03 Sep
Mystereum Tarot Monday Mayhem

So, if you are similar to me and a lot of other Tarot readers, sometimes we see and read things in simple images, in a tree, in a group of people.  Well, I thought, what the heck, it’s Monday and I woke up on the bright side.  So, enjoy this Tarot warm-up technique of reading 1st 5 spams in your spam email folder.  Heck, they’re free, and it’s a great way to loosen up, warm up, and get your juices flowing with a smile.  Then of course the ever important “D” word in marketing.  Delete.  Some things simply do not deserve your time anymore.

Think about it.  You are probably going to say NO! to most spams anyway, and I’d bet Tarot isn’t going to change your mind about that.  BUT, why not say a NO! with the higher octave of humor.  Humor is playing with the steps like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers which is beyond learning them.   Dance with your steps to warm up today.  Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem spam email topics submitted by Karen from the UK.  Send your contributions to be included in future Monday Tarot Mayhem blogs.  You can simply place them in the comments here for consideration.  Only type the spam email title and the snippet of the body text you can see without opening the spam, when it is unread.

Reading Spam As Alchemy, Serendipity, a Warm-up Exercise?  Sure!

Don’t be afraid to toss the banana peel so to speak after you get all the free goody out of it. Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem Spam emails Titles/From and Subject Line snippets are . . .

Card 1 ~ Mark Habert. Business Proposal herbal roots supply

2 of Wands

  • The 2 of Wands indicates warning of potential disaster by overload and imbalance. Look for your natural path. Do not become overwhelmed by perceiving many little things as one big thing. Being aware when you are daydreaming is also indicated. See though the mirages of your fixations. Listening, waiting, and being on the move clearly is indicated to pull you through this time where you may feel barraged.
  • So, it is pretty much indicated to see past the Den Of sensory overload Iniquities, see past the blind spots. If I look for the overall pattern I might find the awesome Den Of Iniquities of that secret spot.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Sounds like you should have made a Business Plan, Mr. Habert, BEFORE you got all the way to harvest.  I suggest a freezer so you don’t waste your bountiful root supply.

Card 2 ~ Mr. Paul Nwanze. Re: Your Atm Master Card Release

XVII The Star

  • The Star indicates continually finding your cosmic groove and going for it! Eternal hope in the diamond-like seat of your mind-body-beautiful is indicated to be sparkling brightly! The Star card indicates the immutable and vibrant presence of your memories, your hope, and your knowledge. The Star encourages you to shift your focus and re-direct your scale without moving the gaze upon your focus. Even the smallest star provides a glimmer of hope. This is a bright time for feeling your possibilities expanding!
  • So, is my ATM Mastercard incarcerated?  I’ll probably be more frugal if I let it sit there a while.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Dear Mr. Paul Nwanze, Thank You for your consideration in this matter requiring the utmost urgency of my attention.  I suggest some milk and cookies on the ready ’cause that card’s gonna get AnCY and throw GATLINE GUN-level tantrums if you don’t give it the breathing room to go out shopping.  I’d say that I hope you’re a great card-Warden, uh hem, I mean babysitter.  From experience, though, I know better. If you have my card, it sure sucks to be you.  Don’t lose your key, Dood!

Card 3 ~ Chase Online. Security Issue

9 of Swords

  • The 9 of Swords indicates situations or events nearing completion or another plateau waiting. Feel experience AS the situation. Also indicated is that you have passed through the mental anguish of false summits. Though misery, suffering, and desolation may be present, the 9 of Swords loves that the path is clear, false summits and immediate horizons are trail-markers rather than destinations, and progress is being made!
  • So, it’s pretty clear unless I have alzheimers and don’t remember properly that I do not bank with Chase anymore even though their “We HAVE YOU SURROUNDED, New Mexico” map presence still makes me laugh.  What? The whole STATE’s gonna come out with our hands up.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Uh, Dear Chase, I predict a long line at your Drive-Thrus today.  Your immediate horizon should be to not forget the obvious policy you have of making sure that fewer tellers are scheduled when you are busy like you will be today.  Did you learn that from the grocery store or vice versa?  You certainly have a way of taking the dynamism of this 9 and whipping it into a frenzied agitation of snipey communications all over the place, doncha?

Card 4 ~ USPS Service. USPS Delivery Information # Error ID4654

VII The Chariot

  • The Chariot indicates you are bringing powerfully diverse, internal forces into harmony. Indicates agility at speed in your process. Take note of your strategies as chariots typically engage from the side rather than head on. Look to the powerful forces in your life to feel where strain needs to be tuned back in to balance. The embodiment of stand-alone, self-nourishing connections is indicated in the agility of your actions. Shift and corner! This is a great time to feel the agility of your responsiveness!
  • So, I think I need to notify the USPS that the agility of their responsiveness is out of whack because they have an information # error and go so far as to assign it an ID.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Dear USPS, Your Information # Error with ID exposes the chief problem with your system.  EVERYBODY knows the only # not in error is 42.  Geez. I know better than to be tricked by a 4-digit imposter when a 2-digit one will do.

Card 5 ~ Blog Advertising.  Premium High Traffic Blog Ad Software

3 of Cups

  • The 3 of Cups indicates seeking celebratory fulfillment working with someone or a group. Personal growth experienced by developing friendships and partnerships is also indicated. Note how trees help each other stay strong and healthy when they grow in groups.
  • So, DAYum right there!  Gotta get some Ad Software called MY FRIENDS to do some WOMM, Word Of Mouth Marketing.  OH, they already do that.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = So, let me see.  After consulting with my people, we have come to a position.  Our email addresses are ours, so we are Natives and you are Pilgrims Ad Software coming a invadin’ our addy beaches . . . We have a statement: “So let me get this straight. First, you arrive here illegally.  And, now you want us to teach you about corn?”

Thanks for warming up your dance with today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem! Part of

the Mayhem today was a big ole interesting ????? why did I nuke my Sunday spams? What was I thinking? How does Monday come back around so quickly? ZooooooooMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!   Having to STOP depending on Spam sounds absurd, though if my be-prepared-and-finish-groups-of blogs-for-launch/scheduling-together I’d say hmmmm, I better pay more attention, huh?  Maybe next week I won’t trash ‘[em, but keep ’em all and INTERVIEW MY SPAM to see which 5 make the cut. LOL

Higher octave your week with humor!

Discover the treasure of the gifts that arrive when you say NO with GUSTO!  You’d be surprised at the table turner of humor.

“Laughter is the shortest distance between people.” ~ Victor Borge

“It’s a small world. But, I wouldn’t want to paint it.” ~ Steven Wright

Have a great week!

Take Mystereum for a FREE reading spin!  Mystereum at MyDivination!

Please subscribe and share.  Thank You!

All images and text (c)2010, 2012 Jordan Hoggard

Tarot in the Land of Mystereum is available signed by the author at www.jordanhoggard.com

There are only four 1.5″ x 2.5″ copper Tarot Birth Card pieces of magic left at www.jordanhoggard.com

Groc the videos at www.youtube.com/drawsalotmore

 
5 Comments

Posted by on September 3, 2012 in Card Curiosities, The Mystery

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Monday Tarot Mayhem

28 Aug
Monday Tarot Mayhem

So, if you are similar to me and a lot of other Tarot readers, sometimes we see and read things in simple images, in a tree, in a group of people.  Well, I thought, what the heck, it’s Monday and I woke up on the bright side.  So, enjoy this Tarot warm-up technique of reading 1st 5 spams in your spam email folder.  Heck, they’re free, and it’s a great way to loosen up, warm up, and get your juices flowing with a smile.  Then of course the ever important “D” word in marketing.  Delete.  Some things simply do not deserve your time anymore.

Think about it.  You are probably going to say NO! to most spams anyway, and I’d bet Tarot isn’t going to change your mind about that.  BUT, why not say a NO! with the higher octave of humor.  Humor is playing with the steps like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers which is beyond learning them.   Dance with your steps to warm up today.  Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem spam email topics submitted by Karen from the UK.  Send your contributions to be included in future Monday Tarot Mayhem blogs.  You can simply place them in the comments here for consideration.  Only type the spam email title and the snippet of the body text you can see without opening the spam, when it is unread.

Reading Spam As Alchemy, Serendipity, a Warm-up Exercise?  Sure!

Don’t be afraid to toss the banana peel so to speak after you get all the free goody out of it. Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem Spam emails titles and snippets are . . .

Card 1 ~ Move Her.  Do you move her with your mountain nightly?

The Knight of Wands

  • The Knight of Wands indicates pausing with too great an emphasis on spiritual matters and un-reflected actions. Being mindful of new and unfamiliar actions and feelings is also indicated. Visualize a house cracking not as hard to mend damage. . .see this as an awakening! Introspection and flux. Transition and healing. Feel renewal as you experience more spirit. Actively grow from your spiritual core rather than from the edges!
  • So, it is pretty much indicated to grow from your spiritual core to WHOLLY gettheheckOUTTA THERE!  Grab your partner and dosey DOH!  NOt much introspection and flux going on.  Awaken. RUN!!!
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = I don’t know about you, but this sounds strangely dyslexic, like making what comes out the other side sound attractive.  Move her with your mountain?  Movement?  Mountain?  Big pile?  Maybe it’s just me, but does this sound like HazMat kink?  I guess this Knight suggests to moves on into the night by being Atlas and moving your mountain.  Do you have to break it from the ground at the bottom first?

Card 2 ~ Psychic Tarot.  10 minutes FREE!

9 of Wands

    • The 9 of Wands indicates that preparation is complete and there is a fitting pause of commencement. Sitting back and taking a deep breath looking into the distance with a smile, a wonderful feeling of contentedness is also indicated. This is an auspicious time to have a great get-together! Or nail that important presentation! You feel ready, one big breath before the first guests arrive. One big breath before you enter the room for your big presentation. . . Deliver enthusiastically and let your celebration begin!
    • So, is this like a BS version of hockey tickets from work? I thought I gave the minutes more than received. Hmmmm.
    • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Preparation is complete.  NO. My prep’s good. Go ahead. After you, please.

Card 3 ~ Vigray C1al15.  Love her through the Night

King of Pentacles

  • The King of Pentacles indicates being the Master Builder, a loves building concrete and psychic structures together. Things created and living of their own accord, standing the test of time, is indicated. Only things of quality need be considered at this time. Be filled with life in the directness of your every gesture. This is a fitting time of grand and exquisite strength and wit.
  • So, it’s pretty clear that something grandly and exquisitely fishy is up as this King is titling his email in easily discerned number substitution code.  Love her through the night with Viagra and Cialis?  Sounds like a trap.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Please spell your words with letters, thank you! And, spell them properly, too.  Hard AND gray?  Not like there’s anything wrong with that, though . . . .

Card 4 ~ Nocturnal dreams.  Why sleep when partner still wants you?

2 of Wands

  • The 2 of Wands indicates warning of potential disaster by overload and imbalance. Look for your natural path. Do not become overwhelmed by perceiving many little things as one big thing. Being aware when you are daydreaming is also indicated. See though the mirages of your fixations. Listening, waiting, and being on the move clearly is indicated to pull you through this time where you may feel barraged.
  • So, I think I need to sleep . . . SOME time. I still can’t get over the feeling of “partner” in this query.  It sounds less and less like a PC way to say one’s significant other and more like a fling with a Western movie star on set.  I can hear John Wayne saying “Whya sleep whiiiinnnnaaa pardner stilll wantzzz Ya?”  Uh, no offense, but uh . .  let me think.  No.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = All those little glowing things swirling around your head?  They’re real.  Dreams are coming out to attack you and drag you in if you don’t at LEAST take a nap right now.  Either you rolled in a mountain of something or your delusions are like technicolor flies.

Card 5 ~ Bank of American. IMPORTANT account reactivation required

8 of Cups

  • The 8 of Cups indicates a freeze-framing in your midst. You may feel this as listlessness or lack of purpose. Move away from what no longer works to something new. The baby steps of new actions just poking through are also indicated. Let in the laughable of your current situation. Traveling to a new place, even if it is simply the park around the corner may help to clear things of their own accord. Feel free to pause your focus and deflate your troubled inertia as you move around in new surroundings!, even for a little bit.
  • So, DAYum right there’s a freeze-framing.  First off, banks tend to spell their own names correctly. Isn’t it Bank of American, or is someone somewhere else referring to all banks used by Americans? Secondly, I bank elsewhere.  I’ll pause my focus as I expand on the vertical plateau of my screen.  Select, DeLETE.  Ahhhhh.  Next.  Oops, that’s all folks.  This was Spam recognition Novice Level!
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = The moral of the story I would like to take the time to express today is that even if YOUR bank emails you and it lands in Spam . . . don’t click.  Go to your bank site manually.  Banks have a habit of making sure their notifications go to the right places.  Let the endless plateau of spam be a clue for some guilt by association for emails.  It’ll break that click response and strengthen your mouse pointing skills. 🙂

Thanks for warming up your dance with today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem! Part of

the Mayhem today was a big ole interesting ????? .  I didn’t receive Spams much this morning.  That’s almost unbelievable. Still a little quizzled as that has NEVER happened.  Must have been some glitchy something somewhere.  Oh well, maybe I should make up a spare tire for Mondays.  Having to STOP depending on Spam sounds absurd, though maybe with keyword connectivity the trash-barnacles of spam retreated into their shells or blew away like trash.  I’d say hmmmm, though not worth the time.  Heck, if it’s a Big Bro gig, that’d be awesome having Big Bro staff taking out the trash each day.  So long as they don;t mistakenly pick any emails I valued. Lol

Higher octave your week with humor!  Discover the treasure of the gifts that arrive when you say NO! with GUSTO!  You’d be surprised at the table turner of humor.

“Laughter is the shortest distance between people.” ~ Victor Borge

Have a great week!

Mystereum at MyDivination!

Tarot For Tips Tuesday is tomorrow!  Please subscribe and share.  Thank You!

All images and text (c)2010, 2012 Jordan Hoggard

Tarot in the Land of Mystereum is available signed by the author at www.jordanhoggard.com

There are only four 1.5″ x 2.5″ copper Tarot Birth Card pieces of magic left at www.jordanhoggard.com

Groc the videos at www.youtube.com/drawsalotmore

 
2 Comments

Posted by on August 28, 2012 in Card Curiosities, The Mystery

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Monday Tarot Mayhem

20 Aug
Monday Tarot Mayhem

So, if you are similar to me and a lot of other Tarot readers, sometimes we see and read things in simple images, in a tree, in a group of people.  Well, I thought, what the heck, it’s Monday and I woke up on the bright side.  So, enjoy this Tarot warm-up technique of reading 1st 5 spams in your spam email folder.  Heck, they’re free, and it’s a great way to loosen up and get your juices flowing with a smile.

Think about it.  You are probably going to say NO! to most spams anyway, and I’d bet Tarot isn’t going to change your mind about that.  BUT, why not say a NO! with the higher octave of humor.  Humor is playing with the steps like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers which is beyond learning them.   Dance with your steps to warm up today.  Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem spam email topics submitted by Karen from the UK.  Send your contributions to be included in future Monday Tarot Mayhem blogs.  You can simply place them in the comments here for consideration.  Only type the spam email title and the snippet of the body text you can see without opening the spam, when it is unread.

Reading Spam As Alchemy, Serendipity?  Sure! It’s a great way to warm up, too

Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem Spam emails titles and query snippet  were sent in by Karen in the UK.  Sometimes,, though, there’s only so much spam you can take, so she only sent in 4.  Add one from your spam folder to customize your warm-up.  Here is my warm-up reading of the 4 spam emails that were sent in by Karen S from the UK.  Thanks, Karen!  I left Card 5 blank so you can fill in your own for Monday Tarot Mayhem.

Card 1 ~ Need Cash? Let me triple your deposits today

King of Swords

  • The King of Swords indicates your discerning clarity of perception while being logical and fair. Here you do not allow emotions to interfere with your abilities to bring beliefs and often very innovative ideals to fruition. You carefully weigh all angles of a situation and make a fair decision that befits all involved. Cunning and cleverness are non-existent here. Your clarity is indicated to go beyond your spoken words.
  • So, it is pretty much indicated that no-one ever listened themselves out of their money.  Be your best discerning self today, the Master Communicator whose silence is as much a contribution as his speech. I won’t be listening to this email other than to say . . .
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = If a King ever rolled his eyes, it was at THIS email.  Everyone knows that Kings like fours. They are little Emperors.  Geez!  The King of Swords suggests to wait until a “quadruple your deposits” offer is made in earnest.  Be even more crystal clear in the interim about what builds value in your communications.  Like this King of Swords.  He is no chameleon.  His very being beCOMES the scene.  Doesn’t get much more clear than that. . . . well, until that quadruple-y thingee mabob comes along.

Card 2 ~ Enter subject liner. TU E-MAIL TE HA GANADO!

The Empress

  • WTH is a “subject liner”?  Is it like a ship sailing on an ocean of content?  Anyway, spelling born of language barriers aside, The Empress indicates you carrying your ideas and projects to full term, abundantly bringing them to fruition. Feel the stability in the depth of your character as you orchestrate the crucial last gestures and finishing touches. This is a wonderful time to fully bring things to life! A creative or physical birth of some kind is indicated.
  • I don’t speak this language, so a quick visit to The Google Oracle is needed to translate the message of this card. Oh, my email is filled with sheep, pigs, and cattle?  Well, THAT certainly makes more sense now.  Thank You Google Oracle.  I guess The Empress thought it funny to carry a livestock truck full term on its trip straight into my email.  Yeah yeah she’s being tricky instead of just tellin’ me to go visit my copy of Animal Speak where  . . . hmmm, let me see.  OH!  Sheep and pigs and cattle don’t exist.  Or, at least they have no spiritual and magical powers of creatures great and small meaning worth listening to.  Hmmm, she’s not insulting these 3 wise . . . .  She’s telling me to keep the references handy today and not concern myself with wasting time by chasing every ground ball today, so I make sure I ripen the fruit of connections in my schedule without picking things too soon. All meetings are to be set just so.
  •  Strangely, the Tu e-mail te ha ganado kinda sounds like Yo Momma.  Is this a spam insult?!
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = The ocean liner of sweetly ripe connections are on their way to be scheduled.  Hmmm, that was more of an affirmation than a reading.  Well, stranger things, huh?
  • When someone sticks their tongue out at you, notice closely.  Is it tongue-colored?  Does it say bright bright I have candy or does it have that sock-lookin’ sulphur stuff on it which is as clear as a Wet Paint sign about bad breath.  Suggest a lemon to them.  And, don’t schedule lemons of people into your schedule this week.  Your time is not cattle.

Card 3 ~ Tink Her Bell.  Be the Pied Piper of Chicks

7 of Cups

    • The 7 of Cups indicates dreams, or possibly simply having your head in the clouds. Dreams are indicated to be flourishing at this time. Note, though, if your dreams are encroach upon your situation at the expense of your actions. Mind not getting caught in your dream world at the expense of your reality. Take a big, deep breath. Visualize a great wind as you exhale. Increase your actions and clear the clouds and the chaff from your air with a newfound zeal!
    • So, it’s really important to fantaSIZE about a handbell choir today to make sure I have all the tools to woo that special person with the dang ding ding ding dong of my flautist expertise.  Or, maybe I should have flautas for lunch.  Or, OH I SEE.  Flute is a SYNONYM!  I can be so dense sometimes.
    • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = I am NOT going to expect to play a little recorder from the rooftop edge and expect a train of hypno-seduced women to flowingly appear below.  Basically, get off the roof and get in there. The closer your head is to being in the clouds, the less you are going to hear the messages you need to hear and resonate with close up today.  Ahh, get some Close-Up and get close.  Get close with no hal i tose . . . is.

Card 4 ~ Half Price Lasics.   Get one eye done

10 of Pentacles

  • The 10 of Pentacles indicates prosperity and close relationships. A love of inheritances is also indicated. . .the kind you were born with! YOU! Practical stability and the tangibly material, physical world may be vibrantly infusing your intuition. Meld close relationships and prosperity. Enjoy this time of ties and enrichment where you celebrate your inborn inheritances!
  • So, it’s pretty clear that I have a pair of eyes and that they are related somehow.  I really don’t know how they are related, but I’ll be just as bold back and simply be comfortable with the not-knowing and say, NO!  That’s not a deal unless I want to be the one-eyed pirate or have a Darwin Award level of a surgical procedure that would then just cause me to squint with the other eye.  WhatEV.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Get one eye done?  I’ll think I’ll buy half a car instead.  If I really need your service, I won’t know the difference other than that your half price special DID NOT help me triple my deposits.

Card 5 ~ (fill in your own)

(Card name)

  • The ____________ indicates
  • So,
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! =

Thanks for warming up your dance with today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem!

Higher octave your week with humor!  Discover the treasure of the gifts that arrive when you say NO! with GUSTO!  You’d be surprised at the table turner of humor.

“Laughter is the shortest distance between people.” ~ Victor Borge

Have a great week!

Mystereum at MyDivination!

Tarot For Tips Tuesday is tomorrow!  Please subscribe and share.  Thank You!

All images and text (c)2010, 2012 Jordan Hoggard

Tarot in the Land of Mystereum is available signed by the author at www.jordanhoggard.com

There are only four 1.5″ x 2.5″ copper Tarot Birth Card pieces of magic left at www.jordanhoggard.com

Groc the videos at www.youtube.com/drawsalotmore

 
6 Comments

Posted by on August 20, 2012 in The Mystery

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,