Daily Archives: August 20, 2012

Monday Tarot Mayhem

Monday Tarot Mayhem

So, if you are similar to me and a lot of other Tarot readers, sometimes we see and read things in simple images, in a tree, in a group of people.  Well, I thought, what the heck, it’s Monday and I woke up on the bright side.  So, enjoy this Tarot warm-up technique of reading 1st 5 spams in your spam email folder.  Heck, they’re free, and it’s a great way to loosen up and get your juices flowing with a smile.

Think about it.  You are probably going to say NO! to most spams anyway, and I’d bet Tarot isn’t going to change your mind about that.  BUT, why not say a NO! with the higher octave of humor.  Humor is playing with the steps like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers which is beyond learning them.   Dance with your steps to warm up today.  Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem spam email topics submitted by Karen from the UK.  Send your contributions to be included in future Monday Tarot Mayhem blogs.  You can simply place them in the comments here for consideration.  Only type the spam email title and the snippet of the body text you can see without opening the spam, when it is unread.

Reading Spam As Alchemy, Serendipity?  Sure! It’s a great way to warm up, too

Today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem Spam emails titles and query snippet  were sent in by Karen in the UK.  Sometimes,, though, there’s only so much spam you can take, so she only sent in 4.  Add one from your spam folder to customize your warm-up.  Here is my warm-up reading of the 4 spam emails that were sent in by Karen S from the UK.  Thanks, Karen!  I left Card 5 blank so you can fill in your own for Monday Tarot Mayhem.

Card 1 ~ Need Cash? Let me triple your deposits today

King of Swords

  • The King of Swords indicates your discerning clarity of perception while being logical and fair. Here you do not allow emotions to interfere with your abilities to bring beliefs and often very innovative ideals to fruition. You carefully weigh all angles of a situation and make a fair decision that befits all involved. Cunning and cleverness are non-existent here. Your clarity is indicated to go beyond your spoken words.
  • So, it is pretty much indicated that no-one ever listened themselves out of their money.  Be your best discerning self today, the Master Communicator whose silence is as much a contribution as his speech. I won’t be listening to this email other than to say . . .
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = If a King ever rolled his eyes, it was at THIS email.  Everyone knows that Kings like fours. They are little Emperors.  Geez!  The King of Swords suggests to wait until a “quadruple your deposits” offer is made in earnest.  Be even more crystal clear in the interim about what builds value in your communications.  Like this King of Swords.  He is no chameleon.  His very being beCOMES the scene.  Doesn’t get much more clear than that. . . . well, until that quadruple-y thingee mabob comes along.

Card 2 ~ Enter subject liner. TU E-MAIL TE HA GANADO!

The Empress

  • WTH is a “subject liner”?  Is it like a ship sailing on an ocean of content?  Anyway, spelling born of language barriers aside, The Empress indicates you carrying your ideas and projects to full term, abundantly bringing them to fruition. Feel the stability in the depth of your character as you orchestrate the crucial last gestures and finishing touches. This is a wonderful time to fully bring things to life! A creative or physical birth of some kind is indicated.
  • I don’t speak this language, so a quick visit to The Google Oracle is needed to translate the message of this card. Oh, my email is filled with sheep, pigs, and cattle?  Well, THAT certainly makes more sense now.  Thank You Google Oracle.  I guess The Empress thought it funny to carry a livestock truck full term on its trip straight into my email.  Yeah yeah she’s being tricky instead of just tellin’ me to go visit my copy of Animal Speak where  . . . hmmm, let me see.  OH!  Sheep and pigs and cattle don’t exist.  Or, at least they have no spiritual and magical powers of creatures great and small meaning worth listening to.  Hmmm, she’s not insulting these 3 wise . . . .  She’s telling me to keep the references handy today and not concern myself with wasting time by chasing every ground ball today, so I make sure I ripen the fruit of connections in my schedule without picking things too soon. All meetings are to be set just so.
  •  Strangely, the Tu e-mail te ha ganado kinda sounds like Yo Momma.  Is this a spam insult?!
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = The ocean liner of sweetly ripe connections are on their way to be scheduled.  Hmmm, that was more of an affirmation than a reading.  Well, stranger things, huh?
  • When someone sticks their tongue out at you, notice closely.  Is it tongue-colored?  Does it say bright bright I have candy or does it have that sock-lookin’ sulphur stuff on it which is as clear as a Wet Paint sign about bad breath.  Suggest a lemon to them.  And, don’t schedule lemons of people into your schedule this week.  Your time is not cattle.

Card 3 ~ Tink Her Bell.  Be the Pied Piper of Chicks

7 of Cups

    • The 7 of Cups indicates dreams, or possibly simply having your head in the clouds. Dreams are indicated to be flourishing at this time. Note, though, if your dreams are encroach upon your situation at the expense of your actions. Mind not getting caught in your dream world at the expense of your reality. Take a big, deep breath. Visualize a great wind as you exhale. Increase your actions and clear the clouds and the chaff from your air with a newfound zeal!
    • So, it’s really important to fantaSIZE about a handbell choir today to make sure I have all the tools to woo that special person with the dang ding ding ding dong of my flautist expertise.  Or, maybe I should have flautas for lunch.  Or, OH I SEE.  Flute is a SYNONYM!  I can be so dense sometimes.
    • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = I am NOT going to expect to play a little recorder from the rooftop edge and expect a train of hypno-seduced women to flowingly appear below.  Basically, get off the roof and get in there. The closer your head is to being in the clouds, the less you are going to hear the messages you need to hear and resonate with close up today.  Ahh, get some Close-Up and get close.  Get close with no hal i tose . . . is.

Card 4 ~ Half Price Lasics.   Get one eye done

10 of Pentacles

  • The 10 of Pentacles indicates prosperity and close relationships. A love of inheritances is also indicated. . .the kind you were born with! YOU! Practical stability and the tangibly material, physical world may be vibrantly infusing your intuition. Meld close relationships and prosperity. Enjoy this time of ties and enrichment where you celebrate your inborn inheritances!
  • So, it’s pretty clear that I have a pair of eyes and that they are related somehow.  I really don’t know how they are related, but I’ll be just as bold back and simply be comfortable with the not-knowing and say, NO!  That’s not a deal unless I want to be the one-eyed pirate or have a Darwin Award level of a surgical procedure that would then just cause me to squint with the other eye.  WhatEV.
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! = Get one eye done?  I’ll think I’ll buy half a car instead.  If I really need your service, I won’t know the difference other than that your half price special DID NOT help me triple my deposits.

Card 5 ~ (fill in your own)

(Card name)

  • The ____________ indicates
  • So,
  • The Knock It Outa The Park NO! =

Thanks for warming up your dance with today’s Monday Tarot Mayhem!

Higher octave your week with humor!  Discover the treasure of the gifts that arrive when you say NO! with GUSTO!  You’d be surprised at the table turner of humor.

“Laughter is the shortest distance between people.” ~ Victor Borge

Have a great week!

Mystereum at MyDivination!

Tarot For Tips Tuesday is tomorrow!  Please subscribe and share.  Thank You!

All images and text (c)2010, 2012 Jordan Hoggard

Tarot in the Land of Mystereum is available signed by the author at

There are only four 1.5″ x 2.5″ copper Tarot Birth Card pieces of magic left at

Groc the videos at


Posted by on August 20, 2012 in The Mystery


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Sunday Tarot Services. Ace and Queen and Major

Sunday Services . . .

Short thoughts and visual arias on synchromeshed Tarot cards.

The Ace of Cups and The Queen of Pentacles and Judgment

May you perennially well up with clean emotion, and may brand new things always be waiting in your wings to enhance your natural self-leadership.

Notice the Queen of Pentacles’ throne unfurling as Judgment’s wing.

Or, does the Mystereum Judgment’s wing furl into The Queen of Pentacles’ throne as a nod to her perennial and naturalized personality?  Or, yes both?

Enjoy last week’s Sunday Tarot Service

with The Moon and Temperance

Best to your own alchemical team 

magically mixing where there are no cheap-seats in your game of life.  Play well.  Play with the vibrant motions and emotions informing your intuition from The Moon and Temperance as teammates. Play with the vibrant strength of their inner motion YOUR WAY!

Play with the Tarot Dog Tags of Birth Cards (Shiny copper, too)

May the magical space between day and night that is twilight

also be a magical, continual space between above and below like the magical mixing enhancing strong identities that is Temperance.  May twilight remind you of the unseen and unmoved mover, and resonate through and through like the invigorating experience of a field of sunflowers.

Have a great rest of the weekend and a great week!

All images and text (c)2010, 2011, 2012 Jordan Hoggard

Tarot in the Land of Mystereum is available signed by the author at

There are only four 1.5″ x 2.5″ copper Tarot Birth Card pieces of magical Tarot Dog Tags left at

Groc the videos at

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Posted by on August 20, 2012 in Card Cameos, The Mystery


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