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Conflict & Empathy

Oh My Is She So Afraid

I love fireworks. I’m from Texas. I don’t love guns, though I intensely like them. Heck, I’ve had too much martial arts experience and training to keep one around. If it came to that… that’s another story. I love lightning, and storms. And, I love motorcycles. Harleys, 1000cc crotch rockets on the Isle of Man TT. If I need a boost, I simply go there on YouTube and gig it like I’m the one on the bike.

But, and this is a big but. Not like the song.

I have a German Shepherd. She’s part wolf. Can see it in the face and tail and pigeon-toed paws built for speed, and the glowing Goddess eyes when the light hits them just so.

I once watched her continue to accelerate across 3/4 of a mile on an NM mesa. Faster and faster, just closing the gap on a rabbit who ran out into the middle of a literally mile-wide open space. Stupid rabbit. Wrong way to go. Though, there’s Nature. It errs sometimes. Or, does it?

Closer and closer closing the distance, until on the other side of the almost-mile the rabbit disappeared under a big boulder. A Greyhound would have had nuthin’ on what I experienced there hanging out with my chainsaw paused watching her full-gate run across the mesa and DAYum did she go through the gears. DAYum did she go through the gears, faster and faster and faster. The longer she went, the faster she got.

Though, back to… loves and intense likes. I love fireworks. I intensely like guns. Motorcycles are da bom, especially Grand Prix types at The Isle of Man. And, lightning… though, so long as I’m in the city and not above treeline with the lightning going off in the snow electrifying the whole scene not just where it strikes… I love lightning, too.

My Girrul, though, Lyra. She isn’t afraid of much, as one would imagine. Big dogs are often strong enough to be gentle, especially of course when there’s a positive part of no bad dogs, only bad owners here. She rules. She rocks. She is sovereign.

I effin LOVE her intense gigs, even when they frustrate the hell out of me. And, during these 5 times she certainly does.

Though, my Sovereign Girrul has those afraid points, and I MIND them when they occur. I talk about legitimate fear versus being afraid and anxiety kidnapping fear to distort it into being afraid, though her legitimate fears ARE AFRAID. I respect that. She’s got some shit, from before I met her, and/or naturally, that talkin’ to it, won’t resolve. A dog’s diff than a partner. The comms together to work that shit out don’t apply. She is afraid of:

Fireworks.

Guns.

Certain Motorcycles. Harleys and certain tuned crotch rockets (feels like the over 200+ mph ones… the really cool ones)

Lightning.

Shuffling cardboard. Like when you move. (Shaking head sad)

She’ll be 12 next month, or so I think. She was a rescue, pulled from the streets. She was fully groomed, only wearing an $80 deerskin collar with no tags. Those gigs set off some alarm bells early on to let her story unfold, though that’s another story for another time. Suffice it to say… No. that’s a story for another time. You learn someone over time. That deserves its own post.

Afraid Points

These afraid points she has? Full-on. It’s almost Memorial Day. The lightning gig-goosed her yesterday. Tonight, the fireworks and motorcycles zipping around literally scared the piss out of her.

It’s not the mess I have to clean up, and Nature’s Miracle to remove The smell. It’s… DAYum is she afraid! She gets like Mark Hamill in Star Wars. If she could get any closer and had a light saber, she’d slice me open and crawl inside to get out of the frigid cold of her fear.

It’s intense. It’s important. If I don’t stop everything, she will nuzzle-push between my chair and side desk tipping anything there over, which also equates to a Malbec or Carmenere on the floor and bleeding through the papers, books, etc that were spilled.

Again, it’s not the mess that’s the conflict.

It’s… Nevermind what I love, like, or full-on dig. She is SO afraid. I stop EVERYTHING so she can get as close as possible and hear soothing me-sounds. All I can do is close the windows, turn on the air conditioner, and turn up the Sonos to Phantogram or the Civil Wars o Meg Ryan or BassNectar or 7th House Radio or Jame Horner’s epics so MAYBE, just maybe, she doesn’t hear the fireworks and motorcycles and lightning and guns so intensely, or at least so much… and console her.

She is an effin Cerberus when she goes at something, though I have to say she’s pretty reserved about parsing that out. Kids? Shaking head. Not a problem. 10-month old with yogurt on his face? Turn to get a paper towel, turn back, and one lick-tongue across her lips… clean face and a kid just bouncing beaming laughing. Phewww. When that happened early on, I got it. I got her character. Without Psychological Projection or Projective Identification or even literary personification… DAYum. THIS is certainly MY dog. The apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.

I love her. My conflict frustrations and empathy considerations? Well, that’s an alchemy that will continue. When you can’t change or evolve or adapt something… well…

What cornerstone of what you can’t change in your life do you ultimately enjoy and HAVE to brace against?

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The Improv’s Confucius Say…

Confucius Say…

Man who have mosquito land on testicles learns very quickly violence not best 1st course of action.

Moira’s Blessings,
Jordan

Note; Moira is an asteroid in Astrology that rules the internal sense of time and timing. Call her your intuitive clock if you will. She is Chronos’ (Saturn/Kronos) Wife. Chiron is Chronos’ son. I’m not sure if Moira is Mom or StepMom. Mythical characters have gossip column gigs like that down pat, in spades.

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Thank You Tuesday

Thank You Tuesday

THANK YOU to every single person who has read, liked, commented, not liked though read anyway, didn’t know anything about though took a dip anyway for serendipity and found something, liked just to themselves without commenting or liking and left with something valued, even if just the smile or a nod.

Thank you all who have given my work a shout-out via words or a link on their sites. I personally like links more unless it’s a feature, keeps it more ad-free cleanly, and makes more of a community connective tissue. Thank you to all of you who have shared my blog on Facebook and other sites.

After I returned from my extended radio silence, I have seen my readers grow from 140+ to just over 200 in the last 10 weeks. I was in a Great mood when I returned, refreshed, though I smile at how many times I smile and get to say Thank You out loud when I see someone enjoyed my work, that they received something for their time. That makes me proud, and not the hubris kind of proud. That makes me proud in the “I Cherish” kind of proud. Thank you.

Thank you to all of you wonderful people who have read, share, and continue to read my blog. Also, thank you for inspiring me to write this. I may just make this the 1st part of a weekly series to mention those who influenced me or who I just resonated with. The intent will be to give people some serendipity eField Trip selections to choose from. A bit like Marco Polo returning with a full hull, a bit like a travel agent. Heck, it might even step up my serendipity forays, and I’m certainly game for that. Maybe I’ll call it Tuesday Thank You Trips. Hmmm, we’ll see. Titles are tricky sometimes, I’ll let it gestate until closer to next Tuesday.

Thank you to all of you wonderful people out there who participate in my work in whatever way you do, every single one of you! Whether you’re vocal or silent, active, or more Of a spectator. I appreciate your presence here. They say it takes a village. I say sure, a community of people all accepted for who they are without reason or explanation or apology. If anyone here ever feels uncomfortable, please speak up. Sometimes that indicates growing pains… for you, me, or both. Like a good stretch that breaks down some connective tissue a bit to regrow it stronger over the next several days.

Thank you all for being here. I appreciate you for that.

Moira’s Blessings,
Jordan

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The Fedora.

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Credit to Dr. Eric Perry’s post Understanding the Grief & Loss Cycle for inspiring The Fedora. I was glad to be reminded.

Jordan’s Journey’s is sponsored by ImaginAction

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The Fedora

The Fedora

I remember standing in front of my Grandfather’s casket at the funeral home completely perplexed as to why I wasn’t crying. My Stepmom, Lynn, observantly noticed my furrowed brow and the confusion in my eyes as I looked at him. She put her hand on my shoulder, and,”Jordan, you appear confused. Care to share?” I nodded, never taking my gaze off of him, and, “That’s not him. He was full of life. He was a best friend to me. Why aren’t I crying. It feels disrespectful.”

She nodded and quietly leaned in a little. “Jordan, it’s ok. Everyone grieves differently, and often, everyone grieves differently each time. Reason can be unreasonable here. Keep doing what you’re doing right now. It’s palpable. I can feel it.”

I cherish that moment, have carried the treasure of that perspective with me since. It firmly felt to be Acceptance with the quaternity of the other 4 grief stages as its heartbeat. Then to now, that moment is still the same, frozen in time, like trauma is always fresh. Though, this trauma, this influence, was treasure.

That afternoon, back at their home, my Grandmother took my hand and led me into their closet. Once in, she actually pennied the door shut or some such, basically locking me in. “I’m not letting you out until you steep in there a bit. I know how much you loved him. I know how much he loved you. We were married for 66 years when he went. I’m not letting you out of there until you steep in that feeling you’re having. It’s strong. And, I’m not letting you out until you find that one thing of his you feel to keep with you. You find that keepsake, Jordy, and I’ll set you free, but not a moment before, not up for discussion. Go on. Find it. Find what you need.”

I was in there a while. And, then I saw it. His brown and green tweed fedora from his 1st trip to New York in 1927. I’d always thought it was so dapper and dandy and all those great words from the 20s, and I was in my Roaring 20s. For the first time, I noticed his initials inside. ERH. I had never seen them before in the hat as it was always on his head, or flipped off and plop-dropped on the hat hook inside their front door.

I smiled.

Plopped it on just so like he did with a little flourish on the brim.

Knocked on the wood door of my prison bars from the inside, rattled my own cage.

“Ok, Nanny.”

“No foolin’ around here, Jordy. I mean it now.”

“Nanny. Ok. I’m ready.”

She opened the door, emancipated me with my new-to-me fedora.

She had never left. Sat on the side of the bed the whole time listening, listening in powerful, unseen witness vigil. Thank you, Nanny.

Such support.

Such support.

Thank you Nanny & Earl, and Lynn.

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The Fedora. It’s my fave hat.

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Credit to Dr. Eric Perry’s post Understanding the Grief & Loss Cycle for inspiring The Fedora. I was glad to be reminded.

The 5 Stages of Grief are:

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

 4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Grief outline portion © 2020 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED Dr. Eric Perry

========

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Like My Grandmother Used to Say

If you don’t have anything good to say about someone, keep quiet. Unless, of course, it’s hilarious. Then, by all means, let ‘er rip!

Well, the time came from an experience yesterday, and now today, to apply my Grandmother’s rockin’ wisdom directly. I visited a Philosophy site yesterday to read an Art & Intention post. And, contrary to popular belief, WHOA, God’s last name actually might BE dammit. Who fucking knew? I, for one, was surprised.

I had commented on the post, and OOPS MY BAD, liked and commented on a commenters’s comment…

Comment here:

Neil Rickert

Art is far removed from my expertise. So take this as just a casual comment.

I have tended to think of art as presenting a challenge to perception. If we want to connect art with intention, then it would seem to me that the intention of the perceiver is more important than the intention of the artist.

Reply
  • Jordan Hoggard

    Jordan Hoggard
    Neil Rickert

    I full-on agree, Neil. Once the artist lets their work loose, their perspective and intent is null. it is, then, far more important the way the work comes across, and that falls into the domain of the perceiver as you indicate.

Which, by the way, the commenter himself and someone else liked — note the 2 likes for evidentiary purposes. Pardon, I have my Defense Attorney hat on for the Asshat of Daniel Kaufman, the moderator of the blog. Cool title, though the coolness stops there, as… THIS gem then appeared from the Blog Dictator. The 1st syllable of Dictator fits. Effin Richard Cranium fo’ sho’.

Given your attitude — and excessive familiarity with people whom you don’t know — I have decided to not respond further. Carter has written a terrific essay, and I’m looking forward to seeing what others have to say about it.

Seriously? Excessive familiarity with people whom I don’t know… and, that person who I am being excessively familiar with that I don’t know Liked the comment + someone else as well.  WOW, I didn’t know I groped one of his his readers. Maybe I should be more self-aware and respectful of others in the future? LOL. Guess that’s his job. I smile that the commenter like my comment + another as well. I clicked Unfollow before the bindu of that same breath apogeed No time needed for that decision. More like the decision-action DUCK!

I guess that the Old Guard of The Hierophant on a bad day, the stubborn, unbending Traditionalist of the angry, old, undersexed, Patriarchal white man has NOT in fact died out. It is a living, breathing STUFFY thing to this day. That’s too bad.

CacaRoaches just won’t go away, huh? I do hope my Grandmother approves of this use of her wisdom. I will send a celestial groove cosmic request to Moira and Pallas-Athena to pay him a visit and play some chess to his checkers. He just feels like a low-grade, unevolved Mars. Read in: petty, tantrum-throwing toddler of a boy SOOOO needy immersed in hi Pouting Temple, aka Ivory Tower. I graduate-emancipated from that hole decades ago. Actually, 2nd semester Freshman year In college when I was invited into a graduate level Philosophy class. I remember it well. PHIL5364 – The Image and Reality of Man and the Machine in Modern Literature taught by Joe Ransdell, Chair of the Philo Dept. It was a stunningly wonderful semester in that class. I, a Frosh, Architecture student. The other 11, graduate Philo, Math, Linguistic, and Physics students. I remember my 30-page paper well. Change the Program, Change the Outcome: Change the Inner, Change the Outer, based, founded in, the movie Altered States.

This blog Post to an extent is certainly a bit snarky, though sometimes a quick without-a-warning broken nose is better than Just shying away. There are consequences to how something comes across. And, there you go. This blog post is more a consequence than a creation. I’ll have to ask myself tomorrow whether it is reactionary or responsive. It’ll just have to sit wise in its own time for now.

You see, my Philosophy, and I enforce it — 1st time in a long time, though — my Philosophy is, Be peaceful, but let Motherfuckers know. It’s pretty simple really. Everybody’s good at something. And, when that someone is just really good at being a dick, then they are. That’s on them that their actions.efforts/words caused consequences. Seems to me people who adult, and most kids for that matter, understand that if you touch the hot stove, effin OUCH. Yup, I suggest people who are dicks vet their environment more thoroughly, turn up their radar. It’s on them when they overstep. I’m certainly not Wiley Coyote if I step over the edge, don;t get to float there until I realize OH SHIT before gravity unpauses.

Either way, As Above, So Below. So, I place these card images as a Blog Talisman to protect my work below from the above. It’s not superstitious if it works. And, if nothing happens, who’s to say?  Hmmmm… looking back, I should’ve seen the snake in the grass at WHOM.

Oh well, OFL. Opportunity For Learning.

Sometimes, it takes a little controversy. I’m good with that.

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ImaginAction. Your Value, Your Call.

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(c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

 

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Wonderful, Sunny Day Whim

Simply

An 20-Image Whim

For a Wonderfully Sunny Saturday.

Best to You and Yours Being Healthy & Adapting & in Good Spirits!

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What’s best for YOU in YOUR day, YOUR way?!

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ImaginAction. Your Value, Your Call.

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Perpetual Present & OFLs

I live my life as if my life depends on it,

in the perpetual present.

I value my experiences, regardless.

They have all together brought me to where I am,

where I am now.

No regrets. Many OFLs.

My mistakes are all OFLs. Every. Single. One.

OFLs? Opportunities For Learning.

The greatest fear for success should not be failure. It should Be succeeding at something that doesn’t matter. ~ Francis Chan

Proceed as if success is inevitable. ~ Unknown

Întention is over-rated. It’s simply far more important the way something comes across. ~ Jordan Hoggard

My process of being naturally comfortable with the not-knowing while getting things done? Maybe it’s due to having almost died on the mountain once, twice, three times? Possibly. Maybe, it’s my Natal Astro Chart config, and how I’ve come to resonate with it in myself. Maybe, it’s also due to a life of welcoming experience over worry, as I seem to get happier the older I get.

By not numbing to just ignore intense gigs because my awareness has eroded, just have become accustomed to them, and/or didn’t like the discomfort? Nope. Nope. And… Nope. In fact I notice and respond or don’t more now.  3+ years of bi-weekly Brainspotting in my late 40s certainly didn’t hurt.

I love that someone recently asked me about my 5+ year radio silence. DOOD, what DID you do while you were gone?! You’re so clear now, even in your abstract, like you really love what you’re doing and know how to care about it more. AND, we can follow and all share in that as well. You were wickedly brilliant and interesting before, though at times hard to follow. You’d Easily paint the WHOLE picture at once in a stroke, 1,000 words or 5 word metaphor, at every scale. Easily clear to you, though… Yup, YOU just saw it and felt it, though keeping up with your revs and where you were going, uh hem… and you, NOT FAIR!, speed-shifting in sync bypassing the clutch… it was exhausting at times, and actually almost impossible, though ALSO intriguing. Your simple steps were leaps of faith for me, and I’m no Evil Knievel, though I’m ‘out there, too.’ Understood, you were thinking and feeling out loud, Effin Abstract Expressionist you were, and NOW, TOO, though I feel it clearly!. I fuckin’ resonate with what you’re doing SO much more now! Glad to have you back! And, more so, glad you have a more aware clarity of what you are doing in a way you can express it to us! You also seem happier. I may like that even more.

I live my life as if my life depends on it,

as those 3 times on the mountain it certainly did.

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On the 3rd one — a short time after, me still swimming in the experience still wet behind the ears so to speak from it  — i paused. I felt something stir deep within me that rose to the surface like Poseidon rising up through my Natal 10th House Neptune`Mercury conjunction in Scorpio, supported by my Pluto~Pallas-Athena~Uranus conjunction in 8th House Virgo, given plenty of room by my Moon~ASC 12th House conjunction in Capricorn. And, my Chiron could not have been more pleased. My head popped up as if a long lost friend suddenly appeared as if to continue a conversation interrupted, paused to gestate and ruminate, years ago.

Yes?, I asked, all ears. The message response came back…

Yes. Yes, indeed, Jordan. Yes, keep that. It’s yours. Keep it.

My rock. It was my rock. My equilateral triangle, basalt rock from out of the sand at the top of the Mt Democrat 14er scree field. Sand and blood and a rock. I kept them, blotted the blood with sand, Sand-Aid not by Curad. The rock. I kept the rock. The blood and sand healed away. I kept the rock in my left pocket for 5 years. What happened to my rock? It’s now a talisman. It’s now the talisman on my wand which is a whole ‘ other story in itself.

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What Do You Keep?

What cornerstone do you keep in your life to brace against?

How Can You Utilize That to Further Invest in Yourself?

Adversity doesn’t build character. It reveals it. ~ James Lane Allen

Good. You’re feeling pain now. And, you know the best thing about pain?

No, Master Chief.

The best thing about pain is, it tells you you’re still alive, and to get home! ~ G.I. Jane

Get Home!

Well, theses days, we’re typically already there,

and that can be utilized.

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Thanks for You, as only you can be, visiting here today in the perpetual present.

What Have You Mined, and Kept?

What geodes of OFLs have you mined and opened and kept

that provide a cornerstone you brace against?

What have you kept

that enhances your investment in yourself?

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I look forward to how you value ImaginAction.

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I look forward how you value ImaginAction.

(c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

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