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Connection

Is…

… often Powerful Witness, rarely comfortable? Nope. Comfortable in empathy, the mode of Rock of Gibraltar mode always. It’s not about not taking it personally when someone rails, is it? If you care about them, it’s Rock of Gibraltar to the Ocean-speak receiving, especially when unsaid and hearing, ”Your words, not mine. About you, not me. And, I full-on understood you trusted enough to confess that about yourself. I’m still listening.” … of course within limits. Certainly, don’t put yourself in danger.

though, what is it YOU think and feel when receiving that?

Glad? And, nothing can be moved by the ocean, no matter how stormy, kinda thing? …

as the ocean, it needed to ebb and flow,

And sometimes more intensely than others.

And, the rock? It needed to listen.

Your job is simple, no less intense for it, though simple.

Listen. Isn’t that it?

What did I tell myself back then?

Keep it.

Though, listen…

Listen to what you didn’t say. And, then don’t… because you if you didn’t say it, you didn’t feel it. It never was. Don’t make things out of not-things. Instead…

Wisen your future experiences in the perpetual present by…

Don’t Dissolve.

Listen.

Connect.

What do you say when you’re gifted the opportunity to listen?

Is there ablution in the immersion?

Connect.

with your Presence As Architecture.

Connect.

And, Anais Nin

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

… as the ocean, it needed to ebb and flow,

And sometimes more intensely than others. 

And, the rock? It needed to listen.

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Blood & Sand

Blood & Sand

Magician ~ High Priestess ~ Empress ~ Emperor

Inception ~ Conception ~ Birth ~ Naming

… Though, in that moment when my head nap-jerked popped back up on the 3rd time like a fishing bobber, near death on Mt Democrat… the moment when I paused and became fully aware and bobbed back up, pregnant with my own life, emptied to fill my well anew…

Poseidon welled up through my 10th House Neptune~Mercury conjunction, dutifully commanded softly… well, as softly as Poseidon is able with the full force of Nature…

Stop crying. You’re wasting water.

You need that up here. All you have is your own now. All you have is you.

Keep it.

All you have is your own now. Keep it.

Your job is simple, no less intense for it, though simple.

Keep it.

Stop bowing. What message do you have for yourself IN this experience?

Feel it. Say it out loud. Hear it.

There’s only one way to honor it and allow it to develop in your Soul Garden and amend your soil without YOU being the fertilizer…

and wisen your future experiences in the perpetual present.

I Don’t Dissolve

I’m from the depths, and I know Hades, and I know you are now nowhere near dead. Just dead tired, beaten down with and only now you are

blood and sand and wind and cold.

If you don’t make it off this pile of rocks, your message will die on the vine. Then, no use to you. No, if you croak here and become a Bio class skeleton!

Get up!!

Get up to KEEP IT!!

I Rose Up & Called Out

Death is the Mother of memory, organic fertilizer, nourishes dreams, ideas, intuitions, imagination. Death does not get me now except to amend the soil in the garden of ME, but not yet WITH me!

YES!, I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO die today, turning back up to point at the unseen summit over several pitches, though I’m going to die going fuqin THAT way!

At the Top Again

At the top, still not yet having begun to down-climb in the dark from 14,363 feet to 10k+ to base camp. I didn’t make haste. I didn’t attempt to go straight back down to safety. I suddenly got in NO HURRY WHATSOEVER. And, I took a side trip. I ambled back up to the top. Why go down when I’m already here. Won’t be able to do this tomorrow. When in Rome!

I’m Here. Experience.

I’m here. Back to the top to sit. Not for long, though I need to rest. Can’t go to sleep. Wouldn’t wake up. Important. Don’t go to sleep. Like a concussion. Don’t go to sleep! Sit. Sit with the experience NOW.

Need to sit.

I walked back up from the pre-summit mini-plateau to the summit where I had been earlier, had penciled my name in on the log sheet in the plastic envelope now flap-smacking in the wind on the pole set in rocks almost mocking me. Then,

… Oh. You’re not mocking me. You’re waving my shoestring flag of being out on a limb. That’s ma flag.. Felt the groggy pushing. Thank you.

I sat on the rocks.

What Message Am I gifted from this experience?

Well, certainly don’t pencil yourself in. Don;t allow yourself to be penciled in. Don’t do it in blood, either. Be fluid. Be direct. Oh dafuq, that’s a problem. I’m fuckin’ with myself. Big prob up here. That’s like desiccated hubris AT oneself. Not good. That tired. Too tired. Mind energy. No fighting. That’s a waste. Be. Experience. Continue.

Who was it, Brene Brown? Yes, Brene Brown expressed, Vulnerability is the birthplace of courage.

To which I will weave into her expression my own…

Immersion is ablution, … and,

And, Anais Nin

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Though I

Though I may have caused a future need for Soul Retrieval that day for continually shedding whole beings of myself shedding-soul-dumping 6 times at least… l, moving slowly back up the scree field to drop weight away that day….

No. I didn’t Do that at all. Yes, I dropped whole portions of myself in positive liposuction to lighten, though, in doing I revealed myself to myself, my colors. And, 3+ years of bi-weekly/monthly Brainspotting 15 years later? I secured me back, back here WITH my imagination and creativity to come back anew. NOW! The snake my skin shedded. The snake my skin not missed for the splendor of my own colors found… the meaning is…

Experience

Across one afternoon and dusk and evening and night Where I became only blood and a sand and wind and cold… now around midnight… I found myself. I was blissful. A bit deluded and/or out of sorts I’m sure. Though, I found myself. And then? I came to. I didn’t lose all the beauty of the transcendence. Not. At. All. AND. I also found myself in seriously intense trouble. Hmmmm, so I found myself in trouble.

And,

I don’t dafuqin waste trouble, that ‘s for sure. THAT woke me up from places beyond exhaustion. Sitting there at the summit… My SOP M.O. of DON’T WASTE TROUBLE came back on line.

Feel it. Hear it inside. I feel it. I hear it deep inside like a grown building to the beast that is me. (NO ! Need with a beast. They already are). Step back and open to resonance and space to expand until it settles. Settling. Full on chaos of Nature inside, settles, deep water silently flowing, and top of lake made of glass. Top lake of glass. The top of the lake is now made of glass, so STAND UP! Now, say it.

I’m still surprised I didn’t fall asleep up there that exhausted, though. Surprised and not that I came to. Though, how could I not? I was only half way through on the long road home. Until you’re off, you’re still on. Knock me dafuq completely out, or I’m still a problem, as the saying goes. When you’re alive, you always have something to be alive for… if none other than that you are… alive.

Keep it, I heard again. Softly at first.

Adversity doesn’t build character. It reveals it. ~ James Lane Allen’s words came through, and…

Keep it, I…

oh, no voice. All dried out. I don’t waste trouble!, I thought, so…

I Uncle Walt YAWPED IT INSIDE.

Silence SPEAKING!

Keep It!

It has echoed since.

How Do You Keep Self-Geodes

you’ve Cracked Open?

What Inner Inheritances Do You Discover?

Keep ‘em yours and private if you wanna. I simply ask that you utilize them. They’re yours, on your own terms. Your Life, Your Way.

P.S.: Autocorrect often writes what I didn’t Nintendo.

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Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

 

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No Negativity? I Guess I Missed It. What Was That Again?

This Is Another Stick-Up, Inner Sanctum. Get Used To It.

Hands Up Where I Can See ‘Em!

Surrender … and skip to the exercise below for the baby and not the delivery

Surrender.  Give Up. Forget Ego.  Forget Self.  Forget yourself so you can show unconditional love.  What?!  W.T.F????  Did I hear that correctly?  Wait a second.  Does that mean YOU’RE picking up lunch?  Oh wait. Now, I remember.  I see the smoke and mirrors without the experience behind it, that half-baked stuff missing its up-front Loki.  Isn’t that type of thinking like someone only doling out only half of a koan?  At least make it half a scone.
If I remember correctly… yeah yeah tappity tap on the keyboard… No thanks, my memory isn’t stored on the Google Oracle or Wiki-this-or-that… and, if I can;t remember something, maybe that means it is a natural indication that it is falling together in a new way…

So, if I Remember in My Now-Correct Evolution of it Correctly

So, if I remember correctly, it was or would become… Hold on a sec as I first read this when I was 7 as my mom brilliantly made me into the first interactive audio book for what she was reading when we were on road trips… It was Zen Flesh, Zen Bones… Cool book!  Thought that then, and I remember at least that part of it, and the word Centering. what koan was that, the ONE that jumped out at me resonantly that day?…. That was a good drive.  When I went silent gazing out the window, she asked if all was ok as I had just stopped, one of those Silences that goes to 11.  “You stopped reading out loud.  Are you ok?”  (gazing bright-eyed yet calmer than ever…) “Yes, fine. I just already do this next one.”

Before I recount the memory… put the card captions together in order as a mini-story or short poem.  Of course you can change the order of the captions.  Heck, change the captions!  What would yours be for this card sequence?  Of course you can replace the cards, too, though please go sit at the small table — hint: it’s a lot more fun over there… like the Little Bus with food.

Koan number…

Oh, I have no clue what the koan I read actually said… I do recollect as I re-collect the experience that it was something like “84. Centering.”  I’ll go to the library to refresh it later this afternoon, and see what treasured takeaway it blesses me with currently. Though, in the interim it went something like… “When encountering another, forget Self. Hear and see as if through their eyes, rippling the pond only from their expression. No Self.  Center. The pond’s calm returns.  Remember Self.  Respond.”  Something like that
That’s GOTTA be the worst memory I’ve paraphrased EVER!  Oh, what’s that Mr. Mark Twain?  You say horseshit, that that’s a fine recollection as I re-collected the idea in my Idea Solar System?  Oh that’s RIGHT, you DID say “You cannot depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus.”  Thanks historical friend dood.  Imaginative memory?  Oh, not revisionist memory or irony or lies.  It is re-collecting rather than recollecting.  It’s sculpture made from rich Inner Booty Inner Earth clay.  Thanks for the glasses, Mark!  As a novelist I know often says  when asked whether something was true or not. “Oh, it’s certainly true the way it happened.  It’s just a lot more true the way I tell it.”

I Guess I missed It.  What Was It Again?

Oh, I guess I didn’t really get it… what to do when something goes wrong.  Somehow I missed the reason for blaming ourselves for things beyond our control with the directive-suggestion to “Change your negative thinking.”  I must have skipped class that day.  Really?  Like it’s all in my power to visualize better and better and then if something goes wrong I must have been doing it wrong, and it’s the fault… of my negative thinking?  Wait! They’re right!  It IS my fault.  It is ALWAYS my fault. I am just THAT powerful!!  lol  Then again, we each are that powerful with no lol after, and even more so when we lol while having fun together.

Change your negative thinking?

Change your negative thinking” to me is simply more Modern Renaissance High Church Self-Affirmation-then-hair-shirt-beat-yourself-up Bullpoopy from my perspective. Is it simply crowd control delegated to get people to nip at their own ankles, to hold their own grace hostage?

I suggest NOT to try and change your negative thinking.  Changing your negative thinking feels to be about as effective as trying to clean sewage into a good soup.  Where’s the exhaust pipe?  Step on it bayBEE!  Ahhh Inner Sanctum… Put your hands up where I can see ’em!  You better start getting used to it.  This is a stick-up!  Gotta empty your cup before it can be filled, huh?

But, WAIT! There’s More!

No, really. All that up there I just wrote is simply ground to support this simple figure of an exercise to take for a spin.

  • Before you fire an idea or a person or or or.  
  • Before you go into the societal erosion mode we are pretty much unconsciously supported by and trained to embrace.  
  • Try this… Plus something.  Plus it. What’s “plussing”? It is ONLY saying constructive things. It is seeing THROUGH the chaff to get the wheat… without mentioning the chaff.  
  • The FIRST thing you think about something… ESPECIALLY if it pisses you off might best be… “What treasure is hidden among these swine, and what part am I playing in… Ahhh, I see… SCREW THAT MIRROR… in fact I will BREAK that mirror into … not 7 years bad luck.  I will break the mirror into its multiple perspectives as they waft away like smoke revealing… the treasure takeaway!”  
  • Do that doggedly and selfishly in the first thing you THINK about something that gets your goat, causes you to WANT head butt… THEN 
  • With that as the selfish first thing you do which minds you of your own self-respecting boundaries… you may become strong enough to be gentle, and like a Silverback… forget yourself as…
  • …with the above as the first thing you THINK… the first thing you SAY can be expressed to embrace the priceless treasure you found inside… about someone else’s idea or expression. And, this is not speed chest with that slap-the-clock stuff. Find the rhythm of the expression. Express it.
  • Plus something. Plus it with plussing as a descriptive verb. In fact, pull the stonewalling invisi-ropes on your inner design team’s M.O. or your design team at work… watch how power flows then. Watch as the elegant smoke and mirrors, the houses of cards fall to…
  • Surprise yourself and try this. No negative comments. It’ll make the most practiced know-it-all a French mime mute… or concise if they can play that way.  You may also find the treasures people are protecting that enhance THEIR role… the treasures they are protecting from themselves so they can continue to miss themselves AS the key to freeing themselves from holding their grace hostage and shining more fruitfully THEIR way.

Try It

Try it. I dare you to explore only expressing potential benefits, positive qualities, and effective aspects of any idea presented in a group setting. And, there can be no punishment… because no exceptions to expressing an enhancement of or benefit to what is presented… no exceptions are allowed.

Try it. I dare you.

Magical Irreverance to Ya!

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