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A Poll & Lessons of Don’t Waste Trouble

I know Who I am. Who Am I to you? Not necessarily superficial persona, how my substance comes across. Let’s see how the poll shakes out. Ex-Ci-TING! This’ll be fun

The Poll Resulted In

The Provisional Name of

Clair Amara Foncé

with 6 votes, 54.55%

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2nd Place ~ Clair Foncé

with 4 votes, 36.36%

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3rd Place ~ Amara

with 1 vote, 9.09%

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CONGRATULATIONS TO

Clair Amara Foncé!!!!

Clair Amara Foncé

A winner chosen where all entries actually won. Karen Sealey of The Pure and Blessed Way submitted Amara. Timothy Price of Off Center & Not Even submitted Clair Foncé. Oz behind the curtain doing a little name matchmaking alchemy made for Clair Amara Foncé. So, the WINNER is really both Karen and Timothy for bringing together two magnetic names that created a binary star system of a one name solar system! Hey, they gave the me the recipe. I just put it together and shoved it in the pre-heated oven. VoiLA! VoiCI! can’t take credit for that. It is their recipes combined that did that. Though, it’s delicious to me! LOVE that name!

I’ll set up the open poll soon. It won’t have a closing date, though at some point it will most likely close. A month? Months? We’ll see. I am going to rest in that regard from it, steep in what came out of it for me, personally. On to this post…

A Poll Gifting Personal Lessons

I firmly operate with the premise that there are no mistakes, that those are all OFLs — Opportunities For Learning. Also tenor into the concept of OFLs the degree to which I can keep facing something wise in time and keep perspective and wits with my other concept of Don’t Waste Trouble.

This Poll Experience

This poll experience shook out some interference patterns that were nascent, often called triggers. What were those? How and where I get frustrated, and by what. Vulnerability. A furthered ability to receive. Moving right along after taking the car into the wall so to speak, with a newfound evening of the keel after righting the ship…

How & Where I Get Frustrated & by What

Not that it doesn’t go my way or lack of control. I’m generally comfortable with the not-knowing and what may come my way. I cut my teeth for decades on deadline, always on deadline, never really stopping, while keeping perspective. With your head down all the time in the work, though, Narcissus can overcome perspective, hijack it even to kidnap it to dwell only within, rather than both within and about.

It’s when I dive in — so this is on me, I own it, shoulder it — and I’m not yet adept at say… A Poll… :), don’t even have the Learner’s Permit yet. Yet, there I go trying to break it, test the system, and I hit the gas. More below about testing and competing with. You see, I tend to run before I walk. It’s simply my way. I get the hang of it, and then learn by doing. Heck, I certainly End with a test of some limits to know where not to point the thing later, huh? And, hmmm….

Vulnerability

Out of nowhere what was fun With The Poll like a birthday party, it turned into a crazy lighting storm of the crash of tech things all around in the Poll Post behind the scenes and out here. 5/29 in the title when it was 7/29, and 7/29 in the body. Yarn hanging off the sweater so to speak, and when I hit the gas I basically tied a rock to that yarn and tossed it over…. DAYum. That sweater went quick.

Exposed! Vulnerable! Yup, I molted. The snake his skin shedded, the snake his skin not missed. For… look at all the pretty colors now refreshed! And, advisable, though I don’t need to necessarily crawl under a rock to be safe while the fresh oyster-flesh colors adjust to the environment. I do, though, advise myself some rest, and to turn into what it is I am doing here with my public voice from the heart on my blog. And, keep this experience. Steep in it and allow it to influence me as I continue to move forward. Solid, new ways of looking at things, and structure, to explore. Good stuff.

The ability to receive

I was paid quite an accolade in a comment last night. Thank you Princess Rosebud of Enchanted Seashells. I wholeheartedly appreciate what you expressed to me about my way. That is quite a gift I will cherish. Thank You.

Moving Right Along. Evolve. Always Evolve

As I move right along after I took the car into the wall so to speak, I move right along with a newfound evening of my directional keel stabilizing the righted ship. I don’t try to evolve. I don’t try to be evolved, though I own that that is a positive consequence of the work. I work to be better than I was yesterday. I don’t compete with me yesterday. I’m more of an Architect about that. I build back in with the importance of a strong cornerstone to brace against within integrated to be braced in turn on and supported by a strong and conscious foundation… of experience.

Rather Than

Rather than, I’ll do better, as that sounds like something one would say to the Principal when in trouble… because I operate with only one Principal in the Principal’s Office of the world. Me in Nature, as much as possible with my Natural Inner Nature Always evolving. Rather than that, shame and guilt were left at the door 3 years ago. Like worry, there’s really no reason for them, really no reason to cow, especially in the face of something powerful, intense, or simply important and/or strong.

Flying As

Flying as high as your roots go deep requires a free flow of seamless segues throughout the system. Synapses of comms between all areas across the highs and lows confluence in the Now. This makes for healthy growth. The growth I experienced in this poll process loosened up my roots. That made for some wobbly for a bit, some rumbles in a tectonic shift opening a natural inner fault line. It also made me a bit Icarus at the above level falling from the wobbly at the trunk roots loosened, not so firmly entrenched in a solid way.

The balance was good enough. No falling down, just a little freefalling for a bit,, and as I work with a net firmly stapled to the floor… the tech issues brought up a rumble from below, and my internal editor came to the fore in force. This is a Part Of me that historically, tirelessly, never stops. Though, this poll brought him up in a new way. Thoughts of, even commands of, Shut it down. Shut it down now. You look foolish. You’re now crying wolf. Cut your losses. Cut it out. This is an. Outrage. Shut down this poll now. I was already frustrated, not in a strong place, though I protected myself and my sovereignty with, No. Interesting. This was literally an old boss of mine. Nice.

But Jordan, you look

I said, NO. NO doesn’t mean ‘no.’ NO means STOP. NOW.

That one word is a complete sentence without explanation. Is all you do critique? If so, what do you actually do of substance other than fit, finish, and polish? 1 you’re attempting to kick me while I’m down. Why do you only come around then? Are you afraid of your strength, your power?. 2 Are you familiar with?:

As soon as you concern yourself with the ‘good’ or ‘bad’ of your fellows, you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with, and criticizing others weakens and defeats you.

~ Morihei Ueshiba, Founder of Aikido — The Art of Peace

Rather than coming off as a school marm busy-body know-it-all, what’s your actual message? I’m intensely interested… because I dwell in the place where I don’t desire perfection, simply excellence with flexibility, fluidity, and results… actionably. I tend to hear Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s:

Perfection is attained not when there’s nothing more to add, but when there’s nothing left to remove.

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I’ll take excellence over perfection. Perfection would be death, nothing left to do. BORRRRR-INGGG. SO not in the Now. That provides a counterbalance to Daedalus and Icarus‘ story where Icarus flies too high, his wax melts, and he falls as his feathers fall out. Youth falling out of the sky like chaff from the wheat in the wind from poorly attached tools? Please keep that youth stuff. Simply integrate it more effectively as…:

A heart in love with beauty never grows old.

~ Turkish Proverb

That concept, nothing more to remove internally, is the immediate and also lifelong goal of the Psychological modality of Brainspotting. Nothing left to remove. Unfettered, one is able to live their life in seamless segues of connection. AND, I’ll add… wasn’t that really me posing the question to myself if I am afraid of my strength and power? Of course it was. I had a beautifully vulnerable series of moments as this poll experience began to unfold not even to get up to a house of cards. It just kept fawn-stumbling around. One thing after another, tumbling, free-falling. COOL. I have some new ways to learn how to walk! Work on the legs, the trunk. Work on that which supports me.

The Poll Trouble Provided Me Lessons in

Under Stress, How Integrated and Reinforced My Connections Are or Are Not

Because under stress is when you discover the treasures of your triggers. Face them. Address them in silence, and listen with locked eyes. What’s their message. After listening fully, listening through their pauses, and Rantras and admonishments and accusations and blaming and shaming and and and… and they subside to listen back, I ask, Do you have a message for me? What is your message? THe focused power of patience flows in to the space between and around us. It may take a minute. A month. A Year. Several took 47 years until ai was 52. No expectations. Once the question is out there, I now subside, give who I asked the full floor until after they have responded. It’s like a voicemail. Leave one. Wait until they call back. Leaving two or three or more before they respond? That can be another story for another time. Wait. Keep it. Keep the wait. The respect does well for the full perspective of the other to form in response. And also, they’re not required to. They may have responded non-verbally. Listen to that response as well.

Adversity doesn’t build character. It reveals it.

~ James Lane Allen… though, I think Aristotle said it prior… which makes me wonder if he stole it from the Egyptians… who in turn… all the back to my alter ego Grog… who I think went to the future to steal, Good poets borrow Great poets steal, from T.S. Eliot… who as we all know also traveled 100 years into the future to steal it from me. Geez. Maybe we should create a new word. Plagiarism. Think it will catch on?

What has caught on for you during the experience of this most every planet and asteroid (larger ones) transiting is in Rx (Retrograde) week?

Racing Together With History (c) 2010 Jordan Hoggard

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Connection

Is…

… often Powerful Witness, rarely comfortable? Nope. Comfortable in empathy, the mode of Rock of Gibraltar mode always. It’s not about not taking it personally when someone rails, is it? If you care about them, it’s Rock of Gibraltar to the Ocean-speak receiving, especially when unsaid and hearing, ”Your words, not mine. About you, not me. And, I full-on understood you trusted enough to confess that about yourself. I’m still listening.” … of course within limits. Certainly, don’t put yourself in danger.

though, what is it YOU think and feel when receiving that?

Glad? And, nothing can be moved by the ocean, no matter how stormy, kinda thing? …

as the ocean, it needed to ebb and flow,

And sometimes more intensely than others.

And, the rock? It needed to listen.

Your job is simple, no less intense for it, though simple.

Listen. Isn’t that it?

What did I tell myself back then?

Keep it.

Though, listen…

Listen to what you didn’t say. And, then don’t… because you if you didn’t say it, you didn’t feel it. It never was. Don’t make things out of not-things. Instead…

Wisen your future experiences in the perpetual present by…

Don’t Dissolve.

Listen.

Connect.

What do you say when you’re gifted the opportunity to listen?

Is there ablution in the immersion?

Connect.

with your Presence As Architecture.

Connect.

And, Anais Nin

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

… as the ocean, it needed to ebb and flow,

And sometimes more intensely than others. 

And, the rock? It needed to listen.

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Blood & Sand

Blood & Sand

Magician ~ High Priestess ~ Empress ~ Emperor

Inception ~ Conception ~ Birth ~ Naming

… Though, in that moment when my head nap-jerked popped back up on the 3rd time like a fishing bobber, near death on Mt Democrat… the moment when I paused and became fully aware and bobbed back up, pregnant with my own life, emptied to fill my well anew…

Poseidon welled up through my 10th House Neptune~Mercury conjunction, dutifully commanded softly… well, as softly as Poseidon is able with the full force of Nature…

Stop crying. You’re wasting water.

You need that up here. All you have is your own now. All you have is you.

Keep it.

All you have is your own now. Keep it.

Your job is simple, no less intense for it, though simple.

Keep it.

Stop bowing. What message do you have for yourself IN this experience?

Feel it. Say it out loud. Hear it.

There’s only one way to honor it and allow it to develop in your Soul Garden and amend your soil without YOU being the fertilizer…

and wisen your future experiences in the perpetual present.

I Don’t Dissolve

I’m from the depths, and I know Hades, and I know you are now nowhere near dead. Just dead tired, beaten down with and only now you are

blood and sand and wind and cold.

If you don’t make it off this pile of rocks, your message will die on the vine. Then, no use to you. No, if you croak here and become a Bio class skeleton!

Get up!!

Get up to KEEP IT!!

I Rose Up & Called Out

Death is the Mother of memory, organic fertilizer, nourishes dreams, ideas, intuitions, imagination. Death does not get me now except to amend the soil in the garden of ME, but not yet WITH me!

YES!, I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO die today, turning back up to point at the unseen summit over several pitches, though I’m going to die going fuqin THAT way!

At the Top Again

At the top, still not yet having begun to down-climb in the dark from 14,363 feet to 10k+ to base camp. I didn’t make haste. I didn’t attempt to go straight back down to safety. I suddenly got in NO HURRY WHATSOEVER. And, I took a side trip. I ambled back up to the top. Why go down when I’m already here. Won’t be able to do this tomorrow. When in Rome!

I’m Here. Experience.

I’m here. Back to the top to sit. Not for long, though I need to rest. Can’t go to sleep. Wouldn’t wake up. Important. Don’t go to sleep. Like a concussion. Don’t go to sleep! Sit. Sit with the experience NOW.

Need to sit.

I walked back up from the pre-summit mini-plateau to the summit where I had been earlier, had penciled my name in on the log sheet in the plastic envelope now flap-smacking in the wind on the pole set in rocks almost mocking me. Then,

… Oh. You’re not mocking me. You’re waving my shoestring flag of being out on a limb. That’s ma flag.. Felt the groggy pushing. Thank you.

I sat on the rocks.

What Message Am I gifted from this experience?

Well, certainly don’t pencil yourself in. Don;t allow yourself to be penciled in. Don’t do it in blood, either. Be fluid. Be direct. Oh dafuq, that’s a problem. I’m fuckin’ with myself. Big prob up here. That’s like desiccated hubris AT oneself. Not good. That tired. Too tired. Mind energy. No fighting. That’s a waste. Be. Experience. Continue.

Who was it, Brene Brown? Yes, Brene Brown expressed, Vulnerability is the birthplace of courage.

To which I will weave into her expression my own…

Immersion is ablution, … and,

And, Anais Nin

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Though I

Though I may have caused a future need for Soul Retrieval that day for continually shedding whole beings of myself shedding-soul-dumping 6 times at least… l, moving slowly back up the scree field to drop weight away that day….

No. I didn’t Do that at all. Yes, I dropped whole portions of myself in positive liposuction to lighten, though, in doing I revealed myself to myself, my colors. And, 3+ years of bi-weekly/monthly Brainspotting 15 years later? I secured me back, back here WITH my imagination and creativity to come back anew. NOW! The snake my skin shedded. The snake my skin not missed for the splendor of my own colors found… the meaning is…

Experience

Across one afternoon and dusk and evening and night Where I became only blood and a sand and wind and cold… now around midnight… I found myself. I was blissful. A bit deluded and/or out of sorts I’m sure. Though, I found myself. And then? I came to. I didn’t lose all the beauty of the transcendence. Not. At. All. AND. I also found myself in seriously intense trouble. Hmmmm, so I found myself in trouble.

And,

I don’t dafuqin waste trouble, that ‘s for sure. THAT woke me up from places beyond exhaustion. Sitting there at the summit… My SOP M.O. of DON’T WASTE TROUBLE came back on line.

Feel it. Hear it inside. I feel it. I hear it deep inside like a grown building to the beast that is me. (NO ! Need with a beast. They already are). Step back and open to resonance and space to expand until it settles. Settling. Full on chaos of Nature inside, settles, deep water silently flowing, and top of lake made of glass. Top lake of glass. The top of the lake is now made of glass, so STAND UP! Now, say it.

I’m still surprised I didn’t fall asleep up there that exhausted, though. Surprised and not that I came to. Though, how could I not? I was only half way through on the long road home. Until you’re off, you’re still on. Knock me dafuq completely out, or I’m still a problem, as the saying goes. When you’re alive, you always have something to be alive for… if none other than that you are… alive.

Keep it, I heard again. Softly at first.

Adversity doesn’t build character. It reveals it. ~ James Lane Allen’s words came through, and…

Keep it, I…

oh, no voice. All dried out. I don’t waste trouble!, I thought, so…

I Uncle Walt YAWPED IT INSIDE.

Silence SPEAKING!

Keep It!

It has echoed since.

How Do You Keep Self-Geodes

you’ve Cracked Open?

What Inner Inheritances Do You Discover?

Keep ‘em yours and private if you wanna. I simply ask that you utilize them. They’re yours, on your own terms. Your Life, Your Way.

P.S.: Autocorrect often writes what I didn’t Nintendo.

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Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

ImaginAction (c) 2008 – 2020 Jordan Hoggard

Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard

 

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