When There Is Only Darkness…

11 Jun
When There Is Only Darkness…


Do You Own Your Actions?

Open handed, reciprocal figure to ground touch, the Both/And touch of the Yin-Yang, the apogee master violin bow single-stroke bindus connecting inhale and exhale, forming breath as prayer.

Adversity doesn’t build character. It reveals it. ~ James Lane Allen (most likely ripped from Aristotle, though I haven’t located the conceptual reference. No matter. Nothing new, yet everything must be original. ~ T.S. Eliot)

Suffering isn’t always required for that if you’re allergic to boredom and challenge yourself. Sometimes, what does not kill us, doesn’t kill us because it loves us very much. And, when you powerfully witness to engage in the Empathic Silence of listening, you may forget your thoughts… the gift in hearing and experiencing another full-boat, full-bore straight out of the box of who they are. I feel one of the biggest tragedies in life is not settling in to nestle in the experience to evaporate the mirage of what or who you think someone is. One of the biggest beauties? Having a clear mind and heart so that every word and feeling between them from another ripples on the glass top lake of your infinite, inner well.

And Yes, adversity may be just like weather coming in, that has arrived. On the mountain. Above treeline. In late October of 1999. On a 14er. 14,263 feet above sea level, and Nature’ll kill ya in a single mis-step no matter your experience level. Being aware of experience, though, means we’re still alive, and that we’ve just had an another experience. And, that we can potentially be made stronger if we don’t react, and instead respond wise in time in the moment, and own it with NO mistakes, just OFLs, Opportunities For Learning… own it, and… can the reasons as they are unreasonable there. You. Are. Already. There. DO you live or die? Do you live or die trying. Do you live by dying trying to be reborn the next morning with your back propped up on the back wheel of an ambulance.

Keep it.

In total depth of darkness, first you’ll see a spark, then a crack, and from this crack will flow your unborn soul. ~ Altered States

Death is the mother of memory, nourishes the future in dreams.

Yes, they water the garden to nourish value, to nurture what’s important. To build value. Though, do you continually Amend Your Inner Soil?

From your experiences, what geode gems of messages have you mined and cracked open by not wasting trouble to keep?

What was/is your takeaway message gift from them?…

That you OWN? That You Keep?

May I suggest that Your Presence Is Architecture, Presence As Architecture. Keep it. Upkeep it. Nourish its powerful limits and boundaries. Fly as high as your roots go deep. Swim as deep And infinitely as your dreams expand within. Can you resonate with…. . “Go YOU!”

Is guilt simply shame you allowed To digest? Cool. So what? That’s what ablution’s for, to get you back to you. And, shame? Can you slip that shit by side-stepping to literally slip it with wit and humor… with such things when you feel uncomfortable with something like, “:), your words not mine.” And, leave it that, not integrating another trauma to be resolved?

I don’t know about you, though that docket’s full already, and there’s no cutting in line.

If you stop to address every barking dog…. (Kinda thing) ~ Winston Churchill

What did I Keep That Day?

What I heard as I came to, came back to consciousness at 5:45a after getting myself off Mt Democrat and Leg leg blown Creature From The Black Lagoon dragging it and myself back to camp at the base at just after 3am. … Hearing my name, I collapsed.

What Did I Hear?

His heart rate has been locked at 51 bpm for the last 2 hours since he’s been here. I don’t know how he did that, though I gather it was to evaporate anxiety to get ‘er done. 51 bpm and 120 over 70 under full life-threatening stress. Oh, here he comes. ‘Hey Brown Eyes. Where Ya Been?’

~ Paramedic whose name would never stick. Thank you Paramedic-Person For keeping me alive by just staying there in front of me as I began to try to make my way back. Your presence gave me a beacon.

When There’s Only Darkness

When you think there is only darkness, close your two eyes to open the 3rd. When you think there is only darkness, look again. Maybe it’s you that are the light With no need of a mirror. That’s something you can share. It’s a gift to the world.

What Did I Say to the Paramedic?

I heard that. Yes, you are right. I breathed my Heart into Cruise Control. No anxiety or worry. I was sure I was going to die 2,000 vertical feet down the scree field. So, what did I do? I turned around, looked up that infinite sand hill… ‘Yup. I’m going to die. But, (pointing up the incline) I’m going to die going THAT way. Will you epi-pen me or Shake me or something? Now, I can’t get it out of that gear. I love her response. No, I won’t. I’ll give you this cold burger they got for you just in case, and sit here in silence with you as you keep making your way back as slowly as you need. You already shocked your system. Eat. No need to stir the water. You did that up there. It’ll clear. Your heart will thaw into reg. Why do you keep throwing off the blankets? You did that in your sleep, too. I don’t understand. It’s 19 degrees, and you’re in shorts and a T-shirt. I think I cracked a smile which cracked open my lips again to warmly drip blood down my chin On the burger. Yum. My Own Life Sauce. Cold? I don’t feel cold right now. The blankets are too hot. As she blotted my bleeding, she smiled. That tells me again you’re not back yet. Well, YOU are back, just that YOU yourself are not here yet. We sat for an hour. The Silence may have been the best conversation I’ve ever had, right along with the best burger ever.

What Beauties of Golden Experiences Have You Discovered During Your Darkest Hours That Flowed Up From Within To Fill The Cracks, and rather than motion-limiting scars, to Kintsukuroi Your Self in Celebration of Your Experiences?

Don’t waste trouble.

~ Paul Pennock, P.E.

I made a diamond out of my misfortune.

~ Jodorowski’s Chariot


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What Have You Mined, and Kept?

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Blog (c) 2020 Jordan Hoggard


Posted by on June 11, 2020 in Promotions


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8 responses to “When There Is Only Darkness…

  1. Holly Troy

    November 10, 2020 at 2:16 pm

    I have an entire book of troubles, of diamonds.

  2. Holly Troy

    November 10, 2020 at 2:17 pm

    so glad you survived the mountain slide

    • Jordan Hoggard

      November 10, 2020 at 2:20 pm

      🙂 You make it sound like a carnival ride. Chutes n Ladders, anyone?!! 🙂 That’s rockin’

      • Holly Troy

        November 10, 2020 at 3:45 pm

        Chutes n Ladders to another dimension

        • Jordan Hoggard

          November 10, 2020 at 4:52 pm

          Pretty much. I’ve had dreams about it where I saw 9 of me slowly churning back up that scree field. I did intense Soul Retrieval work years before Brainspotting after those dreams as it felt like I was shedding whole Self Strata as Ballast over and over to keep lightening the load over and over to keep going and live.

          • Holly Troy

            November 10, 2020 at 5:29 pm

            lightening the load – so much ballast tumbling slipping away


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