Tag Archives: anxiety

A New Idea Comets Through My Imagination


Is Karma simply Spirituality’s version of Religion’s Dogma of guilt and Shaming? Both hierarchy-reinforcing and manipulative crowd control?

Tree of Life Structure Doodle Detail (c) Jordan Hoggard


Rather than leaving things to The Fates, or concern of karma or shame or guilt what about… reasons are unreasonable and Dharma? Why explain yourself? Why petition? When Sovereign, isn’t the only Principal in the Principal’s Office you? For me the only Principal in the Principal’s Office is me, and I don’t keep office hours with that position.

Tiger Woman Pen & Ink (c) 1991 Jordan Hoggard

Can Ego be Good if it Keeps Your Center Looking Good and Healthy?

Is Karma simply Spirituality’s version of Religion’s Dogma of guilt and Shaming? Aren’t they both just crowd control to reinforce hierarchy and manipulatively facilitate people to induce crowd control via being afraid or worrying And take care of perpetuating it on their own. Both worry and being afraid are forms of anxiety rather than being the excellent radar of fear informed by the wonderful vanity of the ego that says, Well, you look better with a head than without, so fear blips the radar to say, DUCK!

Is Anxiety a Creativity Silencing Narcotic?

Does anxiety numb and silence creativity and self-knowledge into sluggish and ingrained conformity rather than to explore and experience things like The Silence of Light By Louis I. Kahn, or Chthonic Numinosity AS Self by Jordan Hoggard to supplant boring and desiccated Hierophants who are stubborn and unbending traditionalists. Basically, The Hierophant on a bad day, rather than you finding YOUR OWN inner Hearfelt Silverback Gorilla Hierophant? Toot my own horn? Sure, somebody’s gotta start the band.


Isn’t sluggish and ingrained conformity a mud from which even a Lotus won’t grow? That’s stifling. No Soul Gardener’s gonna amend the soil with that shit. Too hot. Burns the roots. Even cow manure needs to compost and rot before it’s safe for the plants in your garden. I think that conformity shit might have a half-life in regards to composting. Yeah, it’ll be ready… never. How does never work for you? Oh yeah, sign me up for some of that shit.

Notice all the little people up and down HieroDood… wisdom, new spirit, activation, down-to-earth spirit


This post is a comet of an idea that just passed through the orbits of my Idea Solar System otherwise known as imagination. Go figure with NEOWISE in the sky.

Tarot in the Land of Mystereum 10 of Wands (c) 2011 Jordan Hoggard


The Dive and Ichthusa and Chthonic Numinosity: Self oil paintings (c) 1991-1992 Jordan Hoggard

It’s always a crank idea, until of course it catches on.

~ Mark Twain

What’s Your Take on the Above?

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I Don’t Believe in Bad Cards. None. Notta One! 5 of Pents, 1min 06secs

It can take a while, be quite a process, to get to 1 minute 06 seconds. Brevity’s not the soul of wit on this one. The 5 of Pents can be quite a journey, quite a mountain to climb. C’est la vie 🙂

I don’t believe in Tarot or Astrology, a neighbor recently expressed.  Hmmm. GOOD! I don’t, either!

WHAT?!! What do you mean you don’t believe in Tarot or Astrology?! You’re a TAROT READER. You’re a TAROT AUTHOR. You’re an ASTROLOGER for cryin’ out loud! Don’t you make your living with that stuff?!

[[ (:) Laughing to myself. Thinking, glad they had good grammar with the ‘an’ before the ‘a.’ In Astrologer(:) ]]

I don’t believe in my range or fridge, either. (Credit shout shout to Shawn Nicole, James Wells) I use them often to provide nourishment, though. They got it. They saw my perspective, and sorta started seeing their own in a different way. Inspect what you expect, I said (Unknown author, and I’m currently for some beautifully unreasonable reason not trusting the mixed message attributions given for the quote when kneeling to the Google Oracle.)

My Personal Pentacle

Natal Astrology Chart as Personal Pentacle on my fave leather deck box

I don’t believe in Tarot. I don’t believe in my range. I don’t believe in bad cards in the Tarot, either. Further, though, I feel bad cards don’t exist in the Tarot. Like dogs and cats and children and people. No bad cards, only bad owners — all the adults out there, yes, that’s you. Aren’t we each responsible to adult in the ways that only each of us can own as we’re now the parent of ourself? Hmmm, yes, no, maybe. Though, I presumptuously and pedantically digress. Doncha hate it when that happens? No, wait, that’s process. Ok, NOW the digression’s over. Geez. I’m getting tugged on this one. Love it. So many dodges, parries, and slips to keep to what I originally wanted to express. No bad cards.

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A matter of perspective, life experience, and the proper wits and will to utilize one’s life experiences tend to tenor and cascade through the flow of a reading.

I’ll say it again. Inspect what you inspect. Especially, from yourself before, during, and after readings.

Inspect what you inspect, and be fluid. Don’t go with the flow. Only dead fish go with the flow.

You see, I have a secret. It’s a public secret if you know me. Though, nonetheless it seems to resurface enough times like some kind of public Alzheimer’s is present so that it continually reverts to presenting itself as a secret. I could take a different path by simply denying it next time, and it might not ever come up again. WhatsUp with the forgetfulness? I mean. I’ve only been radio silent for 7+ years. Confusing? Maybe it is a naive denial on my part. Oh, WAIT! Nope, its the secret part that hides in plain sight.

My secret? I have a mantra. It’s simple to me. It may not set right for others. Though, after almost dying on the mountain (+ 2 additional other times, both on a mountain) I began to full-on understand the relationship of blood and rocks and sand and Nature itself, and my responsibility to my creativity and imagination. They desiccated and disappeared for 8 years (from May 2008 when they started going — that’s another blog) to 3+ years ago when I started Brainspotting with a Psychologist knowing my normal prolific creating had been gone too long to ignore. It was approx 17 years after the mountain in 1999. Mt Democrat. To close that out, I certainly put in my vote there.

It’s a very common symptom of intense PTSD. Very common to lose creativity, then have your imagination follow suit. It’s often gradual enough that you acclimate at each step to disappearing little by little. Now? Year 12 after May of 2008 (the financial crash), and year 21 after the experience, here I am. I climbed a different mountain in the background across these 17 – 21 Cicada Years.

So, maybe it’s just that I’ve stared death in the face and reached out a hand to call the bluff. Then again, death mighta just yanked. So, that wasn’t it. Plus, that would be hubris just askin’ for it. Hubris, Easy to taunt, easy to fool. ~ The 300.  I’ll call it Nature, and Nature’ll kill ya, and/or like you very much inside with fortitude beyond your imagination. I didn’t beat Nature. I didn’t win. I found my own Nature inside that day, and I lived. It only took me 21 years to come into my own with it. So, my mantra settles right in with me. What is it, you ask? DAYum this is a long prelude. Ok, no more teasing. Here it is:

Don’t waste trouble.

That is one of my breaths. It has its bindu back-and-forths deceptively long and short. don’t waste trouble plays its part in the breath of my path, In fact, it reigns In my sovereignty like an expert violinist carrying one note for just about ever as if it’s only one note and one motion. There’s something hiding in plain sight. It’s not only one note in one, continuous motion. That’s the poetry of their expertise at play. it’s kelpingly fluid seamless segues of moments in motion continually in movement. It’s also much like freehanding a perfect circle where you are always in a constant tangential change of direction. One must dispense with analysis and order to flow with their own way to abduce and draw out a circle. Drawing a circle with a big Sumi brush is beyond meditation. It’s like a personal ET abduction where one abducts themself in finding their true way. Then, the calligraphy starts. And, you thought the circle was difficult! LOL

Train until the mind forgets and the body remembers. ~ Ip Man (Yip Man)

I guess that bindu breath violin bow action and drawing a circle are like heartbeats over a lifetime.

Don’t  waste trouble. Sovereign. Will you say it out loud?

I am Sovereign. Don’t waste trouble.

Don’t. Waste. Trouble. Am I sovereign? I Am sovereign. Can you explore that question in yourself? Can you shed those words to explore it further?

The 5 of Pents card often provides trouble for people VERY OFTEN. I’ve heard it called a bad card more times than I can count. And, I’ve heard it called much worse as well. Maybe Urban Dictionary will document those new expletives.

It’s wonderfully evident why people consider the 5 of Pents a bad card for a whole host of reasons which I won’t go into here. Though, I don’t see it that way. Neither, do I see the 5 as a chaos number, nor the 7. I see 5 as a, maybe even THE, number of Nature — though I would fight myself over that to promote the 9, the Nin, the Tao of a certain Japanese martial and meditation system. 5 and 7 operate like the weather, not like emotion. There are certainly plenty of attributions one can aptly dance back and forth, though from my perspective 5 is a number that just does as if without thought or will. Like Nature. 5’s mind has forgotten, and 5’s body remembers is the way I see it.

So, we got past the false summits of the climb up to over 14K feet above sea level on a 14’er blog post. So, now we experience the expansive view. Here’s an example of one of my Don’t Waste Trouble mantra-breath-violin-bow-bindu thoughts in regards to a bad card.

I gift the upcoming 5 of Pentacles Mystereum Tarot Moment video to amplify anyone’s Inner Snake Tooth to direct itself to poke and lacerate and liberate and emancipate themself from the Snake-Egg Valence Shells and Loki Onion Skins borne mostly of trauma, and begin to further become the fresh serpent so to speak, his/her skin shedded, his/her skin not missed. Was that a long enough sentence forming a whole paragraph? Climb a mountain and have trouble, and that was a blip. Ya gotta say Fuck blog and SEO guidelines on the mountain. It is what is is, and Nature’ll kill ya if you aren’t natural there. No malice, no motive. Nature’ll kill ya on the mountain if you don’t listen to fear as a trusted guide and ally and allow anxiety to hijack it into it’s being afraid mold.

My gig is knowing this process lasted a lifetime, though not to tire through what seemed exhaustingly infinite Loki Onion Skins and Egg Tooth Valence Shells. I remember Mt Democrat. That was exhaustion. I literally almost saved myself to death that day and through the night. This is not that. This is your subtle, daily goings on, and frankly that may be much more intense over time than almost dying on a mountain. Take care of the little things, and you will be given much. ~Bible — as it alludes to keeping your filter clean, not letting things build up, and getting shit done actionably. Like with a sword, ya gotta work clean to live and die and make it back down to base camp on the mountain of life without cutting off your own leg.

Moving forward, when the 5 of Pentacles comes up, I suggest, how can you not waste trouble?

Here’s one of my odes to No Bad Cards, the 5 of Pents Mystereum Tarot Moment. Here’s to you living life your way!

From Tarot in the Land of Mystereum

What has has always been.
What is has always been.
What will be has always been.
~ Louis I. Kahn

Past, present, and/or future trouble?

Please don’t live in it. Immerse WITH it and MEET it.

Undisguise some blessings from inside today.


How can YOU not waste trouble today?

Ace of Pentacles     2 of Pentacles    3 of Pentacles    4 of Pentacles

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