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Welcome to the weekly Mystereum Tarot Interview With The Spampires! Here, spam emails are used to juice the humor-factor as free warm-up topics.  Here’s a mini warm-up workshop for you right in this blog.  Nothing to sign up for or schedule.  Simply a 5-card Land of Mystereum inspired exercise for some laughter for getting some hump-day warm-up wind in your sails. Watch the hot air, though fill up your sails with your own, warm wind.

The Mystereum Tarot Interview With The Spampires is a great technique for:

• warming up for readings before you get going.
• getting your celestial groove going with humor, as humor is a healthy, integrated, preventitive armor that requires no maintenance. Humor’s shinier than steel, weighs tons less, and is easy to carry on the go.  Easy to share, too!
• people who have a difficult time saying “no”.  It’s a way to practice how not to be silent about “no”, by higher octaving the ability to say no FULLY to someone or something by stepping past the first reaction to get to the humor response . . . as I feel that responding to things that getcha with humor, dance-plays with the concepts rather than tit-for-tat learning them, AND often blooms gifts that would otherwise have been missed.  Passive-aggressive has distinctions, and silence IS a response.  Learn when you will simply ignore something.  Easy to do with ANY spam email.  It’s even easier still on the rest of your day when you bypass noxious bs and stick to the oxygen.
• learning how “Laughter is the shortest distance between people.” ~ Victor Borge  Learn to laugh at your spam . . . plus, the cursory scanning you do through them before FLUSH can heighten your senses on the fly, assist you to quickly pick out the important things in the crowd.
• discovering how it can be fun and very healthy to say, “I don’t believe you” as easily as The Queen of Swords would, and WITHOUT your way being the highway afterwards AS “My way is the highway” kinds of statements are rhetorical.  Think about it.  When people say something like that, they are certainly not receptive to ANYTHING you may have to contribute.  Give ’em a mirror as a gift and as you walk away, “Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear, huh?”
• finding the natural leadership present in the Queens that you can work with in your own interactions.

All Similar, Each Unique

So, if you are similar to me and a lot of other Tarot readers, sometimes we see and read things in simple images, in a tree, in a group of people.  Well, I thought, what the heck, I woke up on the bright side today.  Why not read the 1st 5 spams in my spam email folder.  Heck, they’re free.  And, if this doesn’t get you to search for buried treasure in your spam folder that isn’t from Nigeria, why not read the 1st 5 things you see where you are reading this?

Spam Email As Alchemy? inquiries of Buried Treasure?  Probably not, though Sure!

I know from years of training that warming up and practice can often be taken way too seriously. Concentrate too much when you are cold, and brittle can appear. Similarly, sometimes making too much of the sonething which really bores the dickens out of you can limit the expansion and clear senses you have when you are warmed up and THEN really focus your energies on your activity whatever it is.

Do you get all serious when you throw a frisbee or watch a kite flying?  Even if you do, isn’t it a seriousness that is more of a Magician’s full-on focus that is magical?  Expert skill in play I say. Stretch slowly and then turn up your music and dance around to warm up OR try Interview With The Spampires (gratuitous SEO for Interview With the Vampire)

Taking the time to make laughter is important

It sets a break or segue from whatever you were doing before like jumping around and shaking being all silly for no reason other than . . . to leave that previous moment or activity’s influence and really start fresh into your next activity.  It’s like getting a massage regularly instead of waiting for the “OH MY I need a massage” times.  Mental maintenance to me is like hygiene.  Do you brush your teeth?  Wash?  Well Brain Wash by warming up.  It’s not a coercive tactic.  This Brain Wash thingee’ll get you going more in just your own way!

So, here is your Wednesday Tarot Interview With The Spampires Intro

Here’s how to do an Interview With The Spampires Warm-up Exercise: Read the 1st 5 spams in your spam email folder.  You don’t need to actually read them, as opening them is sometimes not so safe, and certainly don’t click anything in there.  Use the spam title as the card topic, and the snippet of the first several words you see on the spam email list where you see the title.  Simple.  Title as card topic. Snippet text as inquiry.  From my perspective I was probably going to say no to them if I even spent the time in the first place.  I have new clients all the time, though, so a focused scan before trashola is a daily task.  So, I was going to say “no” and Tarot’s probably not going to change my mind about spam email merit, though it can certainly flesh out some good laughs to prime the pumper before I happily and dramatically click DELETE TRASHOLA FOREVER, and OH YES I am really sure, with a grin on my face that washes them away in the next moment forever.

Here is your Wednesday Tarot Interview With The Spampires Warm-up example!

Have fun & then remember to forget FORGET! Or, at least don’t footnote it. 😉  Forgetting is for getting. Makes more room for the good stuff.  Humor is memorable or it isn’t, and naturally healthy either way.

My reading of five spam emails that were in my spam folder this morning.  Today I chose them.  Like the 7-up game in 1st grade.  Make ’em “PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME” outstretching their thumbs louder and louder.

Use your own spams or the 1st 5 things you see where you are reading this as content and queries to make your own Interview With The Spampires warm-up exercise. Use anything you want to play with. Explore the natural leadership present in the Queens that is naturally present in you when you laugh.  Pump up your humor to prime your celestial groove.  Warm up with Wednesday’s Interview With The Spampires!  This message not sanctioned by actual vampires.  They were asleep, and all I had was a steak.  Spelling is important when slaying vampires.  I just think they’re sexy, though . . . more so when they are asleep and not chasing people around.

Spampire Interview 1 with ~ Cheap Auto Insurance. $9 / week: Farmers, Nationwide, Liberty Mutual & more

Card 1: 6 of Swords 

• The 6 of Swords indicates baggage dragged from the past or problems that have been dwelt on at length. identify your transparent beliefs and work to stop depending on them. Open your eyes to see what the world has to offer. Like the day AFTER a big storm. Also indicated is to face your problems knowing it’s time to fight them off. See what is really there! Amend your inner soil by simply letting go of baggage. The Universe loves presents and surprises, and re-gifts back great ones! Gift your baggage to the Universe like opening your hands for a bird to fly away.
• So, it is indicated to send them my auto insurance bills as a gift?  Hmm, I sold my car last year and went all bicycle n stuff.  I think I already dropped this baggage fronm the past.

Spampire Interview 2 with ~ Solar Savings America. Switch to solar power and cut you electric bill in half

Card 2: The Knight of Cups

• The Knight of Cups indicates that things have taken on an emotional and intuitive way. Trust the strength of your feelings. . . as emotion and intuition valiantly lead the way to your destination!
• I can assure you that this Knight of Cups is gonna trample you in half and wash you away if you don’t learn how to spell.  Plus, I LOVE scissors.  You can cut stuff and make ornaments n stuff and push-dig a quick hole for a seed in the garden n stuff.  I can cut my electric bill in half with my Cutco scissors thank you very much.  I can even do it at night.  They don’t lose their charge.  Always cut n cut n cut.  Where’s the glitter and glue?

Spampire Interview 3 with ~ VP Offers. Get 250 business cards on us

Card 3: VIII Justice

• Justice indicates that your life is coming back into balance with a strong sense of fairness. This fairness indicates not to concentrate so much on right and wrong. Odds are you are a good person. Consequences and outcomes are more important at this time. Suggested to work to be considerate rather than being agreeable at this time. Consideration is a fitting use of the energies of Justice. Be mindful of yourself as you are, and mindful of others as they are. Your life decisions and the fabric of your unfolding patterns is indicated to be informed by your inner scale of weights and measures.
• So, I weighed and measured out my hot glue.  It seems that only 221 business cards fit on you.  Get the rope!  Oh wait!  I have glitter and glue and scissors!  Hold still and I bet I can fit the remaining 29 business cards on you.  Want some ribbon to go with that.  No, we don’t offer fries with that. We grease the scales with ’em.

Spampire Interview 4 with ~ Wrinkle Rewind. Want the anti-aging treatment that has taken Hollywood by storm?

Card 4: XIX The Sun

• The Sun indicates who you really are but forgot when you entered life. Smiling, you reconcile opposites. You have your own inner light serving to illuminate the way on your path. This will always come and go like the Sun. Remember, though, even when it is gone, it is soon to return. . . .like the sun! Visualize dawn and dusk. Note the marked difference between them, the powerful changes present between night and day, between day and night. Here it is indicated that you meet your inner light in a way that moves you to shine more brightly with the truth of the purpose you feel. Shining brightly, feeling who you are, be refreshed both inside and out! The Sun card indicates that you will experience your own glory and respect what you have to offer. Honor and utilize your own gains, feel your pleasures, experience your triumphs. With your refreshed brightness enthusiastically reap your success! This is a time where you are more visible, and your way feels bright.
• Storm?  Hollywood?  Even the card says it’s pretty sunny there.  Are you repackaging sunscreen with aloe and facial toner again?  Ahhh, cummon.  We all know that Elmer’s Glue and paste tighten skin without fail.  Are Ya using that?  Back to kindegarten to paste stuff up . . . oh, I can do that in my office!  Where are the milk and cookies?  Oh, I was right at first.  Off to kindegarten I go! COOKIES!  Maybe cookies can help cut “you” electric bill in half.  They certainly fire me up!

Spam Interview 5 with ~ GXC Contact Services. GXC Advisory Board – The Realization of Benefits Realization

Card 5: 8 of Cups

• The 8 of Cups indicates a freeze-framing in your midst. You may feel this as listlessness or lack of purpose. Move away from what no longer works to something new. The baby steps of new actions just poking through are also indicated. Let in the laughable of your current situation. Traveling to a new place, even if it is simply the park around the corner may help to clear things of their own accord. Feel free to pause your focus and deflate your troubled inertia as you move around in new surroundings!, even for a little bit.
• Hmmm, 8 of cups.  Expansive plateaus of 8’s.  Deflate trouble.  This has GOTTA be a re-tooling by a former government employee who used to work at the Department of Redundancy Department. This has GOTTA be a re-tooling by a former government employee who used to work at the Department of Redundancy Department.  No really. This has GOTTA be a re-tooling by a former government employee who used to work at the Department of Redundancy Department.  Where are the minutes? No No silly.  I need the 2nd carbon of the 3rd triplicate set.  What?  They are in quadrupliciate?  Ahh, let’s do this again Redundancy Department style.  This time lets have carbon copies in octuplicate.  Don’t forget to press hard.  WAIT!  Octuplicate.  How can we tell the documents from the coasters?

Enjoy playing with

the Interview With The Spampires Warm-up technique presented here! 

Magical Blessings to you as you prime your pumper and pump up the volume on your celestial groove!  Bring YOU to the table, warm up first, then greet your clients with enlivened Tarot readings in the higher octave way of YOU right from the start!

DISCLAIMER:

This blog is in no way intended to give you the higher octave of ADHD which is ALAS.  What is ALAS?, you say.  ALAS is . . . ATTENTION . . . Look A Squirrel!  Only do 5, and then forget ’em and get on with your day.  Great to do again with afternoon coffee, too!  Notice the first thing you see that makes you smile after your exercise.  THAT may be something coolE-OOO that you might have missed otherwise.  CHOCOLATE!  Oh, got carried away there.  Better in ma belly.

Happy Wednesday, and keep yourself warmed up through your week! It’s yours. Happily treat it as such!

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All images and text (c)2010, 2012 Jordan Hoggard

Tarot in the Land of Mystereum is available signed by the author at www.jordanhoggard.com

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